If I should die …

Things to be taken care of if I am no longer able to do them myself:

Let me explain.

A few months ago, I started thinking about getting my “affairs” in order in case I didn’t wake up one morning. You know what I am talking about.

Last week I wrote about purging my house of unnecessary stuff. When you have lived in the same house for 50 years, you know there has to be a lot of “Why am I keeping this stuff?”

A Peace of Mind Planner was purchased on Amazon. It is a place to write important information about your belongings, business affairs, and wishes. It helps in the days, weeks, and months after a death, so the family is less overwhelmed.

I have seen how hard it is when a family has no idea where things are or has any information concerning a family member’s accounts and memberships. Insurance, bank accounts, credit cards, medical information, documents, and other business information need to be written down in one place.

Please understand that I am not ill. I am 70 years old, and the sand in my hourglass is settling deeper at the bottom. I want my family to know what they need to know and to have less to deal with. I do not want to add to the weight of the grief they will bear.

As I said in last week’s column, letting go of stuff is hard. My heart vault is huge when it comes to sentimental attachments to my stuff. It’s the size of a walk-in freezer at Costco. The heart vaults of my daughter and daughter-in-law are more like college mini-refrigerators when it comes to my stuff.

Writing down where my insurance and bank accounts are, along with any legal information, will make settling my estate much easier. It’s not like I have a huge estate, but we all have one, and it will eventually need to be settled.

Several years ago, I met with Sarah Randall at Church Church Hittle & Antrim to set up my Will and Trust. Sarah made it easy. I also set up my healthcare wishes. I knew this would take a lot of mental and emotional stress off my family.

Did you know you need to request at least 10 copies of a death certificate? The funeral home can help. My family knows Randall and Roberts Funeral Home has been the one to handle all our family funerals. Three generations of good people helped families cope with the loss of their loved ones. It’s not just a business to them but a service to grieving families they consider friends.

My mother pre-planned her funeral to mirror my dad’s, 14 years earlier. She paid for her funeral at the same time she paid for his, thus avoiding the inflated cost of a 2020 funeral. Her casket was even chosen. I had no idea then that funeral insurance existed. It made it much easier for me.

I sent Emily a picture and a sketch of what I want my gravestone to look like. Pink granite, heart-shaped, with a redbird, a cross, and the engraving … Her Words Mattered. Pretty simple.

Now, when it comes to my obituary, I’m writing it. Is it morbid to say I’m having fun? All Emily has to do is fill in the blank for the date on the other side of my dash. September 3, 1955 – ?

I want my friend, Corinne Gunter, to officiate and for Emily to speak. I want Chuck’s son, Jeff, to sing “The Goodness of God.” I’ve written out the hymns I want played. “What a Day,” “She Loved,” and “When We All Get To Heaven.” Can you tell I love Southern Gospel?

The thing is, one day I won’t wake up. There will be a date on the right side of my dash. I’ve never wanted my kids to be caught up in the entanglements of the “after my death” stuff. I hope my life will be celebrated and the fact that I’ve made my arrangements will make it easier.

Grief is difficult. Passwords, insurance policies, bank accounts, and stuff complicate the grief.

This may be a strange column, but a much-needed one.

And to answer the question at the beginning of this column, the answer is simple … Feed the birds at my birdfeeder. Their food is in the garage. Most of my requests are simple and now written down.

If I should die before I wake …

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). She is the recipient of the Reporter’s Spring 2025 Ink-Stained Wretch award. Visit janethartleonard.com.