More conversation with my birth father

As my adoption and reunion story continues, I’ve changed some names, places, and dates.

After giving me my first baby picture, Jack then showed me a brochure of the nonprofit he had learned about years ago that helped adoptees and birthparents find each other. Reunite, Inc. was based out of Columbus, Ohio, and is still running today.

He next showed me some notes he had taken back in 2006 for the Ohio Department of Welfare and Department of Health for the registry. He had even contacted the probate court for Hamilton County, Ohio.

“Sooner or later, this reunion was going to happen,” I said.

I loved hearing his stories about some of the wild things he had done in his youth and the path that had led him to start his own business. The business revolved around protecting the environment to help not only the earth, but local economies as well throughout Tennessee.

I nodded in excitement hearing about his ideas and the things he had accomplished. Although my own efforts for my community were smaller in scale, it was thrilling to think about our similar interests and efforts.

We talked about the alumni publication that led me to him and Jack shook his head and grinned.

“I got in so much trouble with my mother over that,” he said. “I don’t know why they said she was elderly. I got an earful when I came home for the summer after that semester!”

I told Jack more details about my experiences growing up as well as my current family. I showed him pictures of me as a baby, child, and teenager. I then asked if we could have our picture taken that afternoon together in the coffee shop.

“You know the situation with my mother,” I said. “This absolutely will not be shared on the Internet or texted to anyone.”

“I appreciate that,” Jack replied. “Certain people would be pretty upset by it.” I knew his siblings were never told about me, and I also knew he had not yet told his daughters. But I still detected that maybe someone else might be upset. My thoughts were confirmed later.

Ninety minutes flew by and before I knew it Jack was saying he had to leave. My heart sunk a bit at his words, but of course I understood. I was grateful for the little bit of time we had for this initial meeting. We stood outside for a few minutes talking in the shade. The rain had stopped, and the sun was peeking out of the clouds.

“Amy, I’m afraid my wife isn’t taking this reunion as well as I had hoped,” Jack confessed.

“Oh, no… Why?” I asked, seeing the sadness cloud his eyes. “Does she think I want money or that I’ll show up on your doorstep suddenly? I hope she knows I don’t mean any harm to you or your family.”

“I’ve tried explaining all of that to her,” he replied. “I think she just needs more time. I’m pretty confident she’ll come around eventually.” We paused our conversation, each of us deep in thought.

“Well, the three of us certainly all have something to deal with in this,” I said. “You with your wife’s discomfort, me with my mother, and Linda with her fears of sharing this with her daughter. I guess we’ll just have to pray that all will work out eventually.” Jack nodded in agreement.

We hugged one more time, then each of us went our separate ways to our vehicles. My heart and mind were spinning with various emotions – joy, sadness, excitement, and disappointment. Joy at finally having met him. Sadness over the news of his wife’s feelings. Excitement to learn so much about him and my own heritage. And disappointment that our time together that day couldn’t have been longer.

1 Comment on "More conversation with my birth father"

  1. Oh Amy I cannot imagine what you went through that day. The more I read, the more I understand your drive and determination.

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