As my adoption and reunion story continues, I’ve changed some names, places, and dates.
My last adoption and reunion column talked about not rushing your reunion with your biological family. It ended with the hope that I could meet my biological father’s wife someday. That hasn’t happened yet due to COVID-19 and other factors, but she’s open to the possibility now, which is exciting.
With the recent death of my mother, I continue to cherish the wonderful family that I was placed into 52 years ago. On the last Christmas where we were all together, in December of 2015, John, Jonathon, Jacob, and I spent a wonderful day up at my mom’s house in Mishawaka.
I couldn’t help but think as I looked at and spoke with my brother, sister, nieces, and nephews just how fortunate I was to be a part of this terrific, loving family. I looked forward to the day that I could tell them all about my discoveries, but I was not in any hurry. I wanted my mom to be around as long as possible. As you all know, she lived seven more years after that and passed away at age 89.
Thanks to this journey, I loved her more than ever. I will probably never understand why she didn’t want me to start it, but that’s OK. I appreciate her sacrifices, her incredible strength, and her kind heart. And so do Linda and Jack.
If you’re thinking of searching for your birth parents or relatives, remember to respect your adopted family. Hopefully you’ll have their support, but if not, search anyway if it means a lot to you. No one should take that opportunity away from you.
But don’t ever forget who was there for you and who loved you from the start. Your adopted family is simply your family – period. Unless your family neglected or abused you, let the experience of finding your birth family bring you closer to versus pushing you away from them.
Be sure to cherish each step of the process, no matter how big or small. It will involve a roller coaster of emotions, but it is a ride I have never regretted taking.
Enjoy gathering the pieces of your life puzzle and slowly putting them all together. Aristotle said that knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. I feel like I grew stronger and gained more knowledge back in 2015 than any other year of my life. I truly feel like I gained the gift of wisdom, and it is one I treasure.
If you were adopted or if you’re a birth parent looking for your child, my final few columns in this series will give you information about how to start that search and how to support others. I hope my story has both inspired you and helped you connect with someone in your situation. May God bless you and help you with your own journey.