By AMY SHANKLAND
Sandwiched
It just hit me that my mother will be 90 in three months. I mentioned this to my husband John and he asked what my siblings and I were thinking of doing to celebrate. I replied, “Whatever we do, it will have to be something at her facility.”
Some of you may recall her big day last year when she and I enjoyed a couple of hours at Coxhall Gardens in Carmel. It took some big-time planning between Hamilton County Parks and Recreation, Hamilton County Tourism, Hamilton County Express, and me, but we pulled everything off without a hitch. We ended the celebration with Heavenly Sweets cupcakes back at her facility.
Just nine months later, I already know we can’t do anything even close to that this year. We’ll have to do our best to have a special celebration at her assisted living facility. I’m hoping we can at least go outside for it, although they don’t have any outdoor gathering spaces.
Mom has declined rapidly over the last six months as I’ve shared with you all. I remember her slowly walking with determination last summer to go play bingo. At that point she mostly traveled by wheelchair, but sometimes she would still try to walk a bit. Now, Mom can barely take a couple of steps.
While I’m sad we can’t do more for her on her upcoming special birthday, I’m incredibly happy that my family and I took the time to celebrate her other big days over the years. We had a huge surprise (ish) party for her 70th birthday. Okay, she figured things out, so it wasn’t quite a surprise. But I still remember dozens of family and friends gathered around and the joy she felt that afternoon.
We celebrated her 80th birthday at her favorite Italian restaurant up in Mishawaka back when she used to live there. While the event itself wasn’t a surprise, my sister flew up from Florida, which Mom didn’t expect. The hugs and tears were unforgettable.
And last year’s picture-perfect day in May was truly special. Everyone rolled out the red carpet for my mama, and I was extremely grateful.
If you are in the sandwich generation and blessed to still have your parents around, I want to encourage you to make the most of their special days – birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I know it’s hard, especially when you’re juggling children, a job, etc. (I remember holding a newborn and chasing a toddler around when Mom turned 70.)
Trust me, though, you’ll look back and be so grateful you took the time and energy to do so. Don’t hesitate to celebrate! It’s worth it.