Raising friends

I look at my two- and four-year-old son and daughter and see the closeness they share. I so frequently wish that time would just stand still. I see their friendship and excitement for each other and am so grateful for the bond they have. It makes two pregnancies in the span of two years worth it when I see the two of them growing up together and experiencing their childhoods together.

Having two toddlers is not easy all the time. In fact, it’s never easy, but it’s fun. Well, most of the time it is. We have this beautiful chaos that my husband and I have grown so accustomed to we don’t even realize how crazy it is until we are around other people.

I absolutely love being a mom. I always knew I wanted to be a mother and when we were blessed with our daughter in 2019, I knew someday that we would want to have another one, but maybe not as soon as we did. This is coming off the heels of my daughter’s delivery where the epidural did not work, so I was really in no hurry for a repeat of that delivery. Kudos if you want to do that drug free, but that was not something I ever care to repeat again.

2020 hit and we really wanted to round out the stereotypical COVID-19 experience by having a baby, getting a puppy, and buying a house. Oh yes, we did it all in the same year. I pictured us waiting another year or so before having another baby, but after a few weeks of being cooped up in the house, a canceled vacation, a game of dominos, and a shared bottle of wine, we figured, eh, why wait? Neither of us is getting any younger and it would be fun to have two close in age. Why not throw a puppy into the mix? What else do we have to do?

I think it’s safe to say that most mothers wish for nothing more than their children to be friends when they are adults. They want their children to come home and still allow them to play an active role in their lives. I imagine my kids as adults from time to time. I wonder what they will do, who they will marry, what their lives will look like. I see their closeness and the friendship they share and pray that life never gets in the way to allow for anything to break that bond. I know there will come a time when my husband and I are no longer here and I want them to know and show love, but most importantly, I want them to be loved.

Photos provided by Megan Rathz

I see the excitement each morning when they see each other, or the way Mary grabs Pat’s hand when we are out in public. She is his little Mother Hen. I’m sure that will be more than entertaining when they are both in high school at the same time and neither of them will get away with anything. I love how Mary is the only one to call him Patrick. She even calls him Patrick Timothy if she’s really upset with him. He calls her “May Me” because he can’t pronounce the R sound in her name. They always tattle on each other if they think they’ve been wronged or the other has gotten away with something. I love how even though she’s only 23 months older than him, she truly thinks she is his second mother.

My wish for my kids is that they remain close and look out for each other. I hope they still get into trouble and come up with schemes well into their adulthood. I hope they giggle like they do now when they’re grown up. I hope Pat checks on Mary to make sure she got home safely and always reminds her the kind of man she deserves. I hope Pat marries someone who fosters a sense of family and is Mary’s friend. I hope Pat and Mary’s husband one day like to go golfing and help each other build a deck. I hope they are both there for each other and their children just like my sister and I are. I hope they never lose their sense of closeness, laughter, mischief, and protectiveness.

I hope I’m around long enough to soak up every moment of it and be a spectator in their lives and cheer them on no matter what they do. I hope when they are too old to walk down the street hand in hand with their brother or sister, that they have someone in their life that holds their hand and loves them just as much as I do.

Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.