Hope for civility?

By NANCY KELLY SMITH
Guest Columnist

“We certainly need it!” That’s the response I usually get whenever I share that I am very much involved in a national movement promoting “civility.” I agree! We DO need to be more civil – in politics, community life, and in our family and other relationships.

Is it possible? Allow me to share my experience with a former columnist for The Hamilton County Reporter who wrote an informative, thoughtful column (before moving) which detailed meetings of the Noblesville School Board along with her own commentary. While my friend and I identify with the same political party, we often disagree about policy and about political figures.

Before retiring as an English professor, I always told my students that “Respect was non-negotiable.” That meant “your respect for me, my respect for you, and your respect for each other.” The point was that during discussion, “We can disagree without being disagreeable.” And my friend and I “disagree without being disagreeable.”

We don’t insult each other or disparage each other’s points of view. Instead, we explain why we believe what we do and ask questions. “Breaking bread” together, sharing a meal (or having coffee), produces “good vibes” in my experience and is a “win-win” situation. The result? Better understanding and appreciation for each other. Now we share a valued friendship that has enabled us to travel to the Indiana Statehouse together to share our views with our legislators.

Also, like many of you, no doubt, my husband and I recently endured a stressful time on a plane and in an airport. But to my astonishment, I also experienced people expressing “politeness” (etiquette) AND “civility” (having an attitude of respect for another human being).

The location? The Atlanta Airport. The initial situation? Being stranded on a plane waiting to take off for about three hours while a thunderstorm raged outside and large hail pummeled the plane.

Incredibly, people were patient during that long delay, and no one uttered a complaint or hassled the flight attendants or cursed in frustration. That waiting ordeal ended about 11:30 p.m. when all planes were ordered back to the gates and the passengers had to deplane.

The next phase was to be in a line of 100 to 150 travelers (including mothers with babies and toddlers) having to try and find alternative flights with only ONE Customer Service representative available to shepherd people to half a dozen or so phones to contact the airline flight representatives. By this time everyone was completely exhausted!

Again, I was totally amazed that no one became irate; no one tried to cut in line.

After my husband stood in line for at least an hour, we knew we could not get on the next flight, and we were on a waitlist for the first flight in the morning, and we knew we had seats on the following flight, but it was a plane that took us all the way to New York’s JFK Airport in order to catch a connecting flight back to Indianapolis! We decided we had to try to sleep in the Atlanta Airport for what was left of the night.

After so many delays and a flight from JFK, my husband and I arrived back home in Indiana. I could have kissed the ground! I felt thankful.

Is there hope for “civility”? I have hope. Do you?

Nancy Kelly Smith is a retired English professor and published author. She is also an Ambassador for the national civility organization Civic Renaissance. Learn more at civic-renaissance.com.