Strengthening my mom muscle

I often talk about how my disease affects my muscles and causes certain parts of my body to be much weaker than others. I recently realized that one of my muscles needed a good workout to restore its strength as it had atrophied.

Recently, both of my boys were home for their college spring break. In the days leading up to their arrival, I took extra steps to try and have plenty of food for them (there is never enough for young adult boys, by the way) and spent time planning meals. I wanted to make all their favorite things while they were home.

That was my first sign of exhaustion. Planning, buying, and making food for more than just my husband and me is a lot more work. How quickly I had forgotten. I thought, no wonder I was exhausted for years upon end.

When they arrived home with several bags of dirty laundry, I took a look and decided that to do something kind, I would do their laundry for them. Give them a little bit of a break. After all, I had a week to get it done.

Several days in and about halfway through the mountain of clothes, I started to question my offer and my sanity. I knew that I did not have to take that on, but moms have an innate need to nurture our kids no matter how old they are. At least this one does.

I trudged on, each day getting a little more frustrated because I felt so tired, but still not wanting to go back on my promise. My laundry room is one of the least accessible rooms in my house, so when I am using my wheelchair, it is challenging.

We were also doing fun things outside of the house, making meals together, and hanging out late at night watching basketball and our favorite shows. It was a gift to have that time with them.

Near the end of the week, I looked at my husband and said, “How did I keep up all those years they lived at home?” I was truly astonished looking back that I was able to raise my boys with my limited physical resources. He said, “God carried you during that time. He made it possible.” I could not argue with that, as there is not really any other good explanation.

After they both left to go back to school, I felt sad that the time had come and gone, but I did welcome the slower pace. It took me a few days to recover and get my normal strength back.

I was chatting about their time at home with my friend, who also has college-aged kids. She said, “Your mom muscle has atrophied!” It takes time to rebuild it, and just when it was getting stronger, they left again. I loved her explanation and it felt so true.

In the end, I did not get to do everything I wanted for them. I had to wave the white flag and call in reinforcements. It was good preparation for summer break, which is rapidly approaching for them.

It is hard to believe that our first “season” as empty nesters has gone by so fast. We have made the most of it and enjoyed our new normal. What seemed like such a scary thing when the youngest left last fall, turned into a fun new adventure, and a little less work daily.

Although my boys do not expect me to do some of the things I knew they could do on their own, I enjoy being their mom. I want to do those things for them as long as I possibly can.

It’s good for me to push myself a bit but accepting when it is time to ask for help is key to a healthy balance.

Until next time …

Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, freelance writer, wife, and mom of two boys. She is the recipient of the Reporter’s Winter 2025 Ink-Stained Wretch award. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.