They are watching

I was recently scrolling and saw a preacher discussing the importance of the example a father plays in the lives of his children. The speaker was talking about how often a son will become his father both in his words and actions, and his daughter will one day marry it.

Is this always true? Of course not. In fact, the thought of becoming your father or marrying him is very triggering for some people. We all know people who have come from terrible circumstances and have broken the cycle with their own actions. Whether it be addiction, abuse, finances, gambling, drugs, or another vice, there have certainly been a lot of people who can proudly say they did not end up like their father. And to those people, I see you and respect you.

For those of us, like myself, who were blessed with the example of a wonderful father who was strong, witty, wise, kind and loyal, protective, successful, generous, faith-centered, and selfless, we looked for those traits when dating a future mate. I saw the way that my dad treated my mom and knew that one day I would not settle for less than that because not only did my dad treat and love my mom well, but he also loved his daughters well. I grew up watching him and noticing many things.

I can proudly say that I look at my husband, Tim, and see the way he treats his own kids and me and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. In the season of thankfulness, and which just so happens to be my husband’s birthday, I am thankful for the life he works hard to provide for us and the example he sets for our children. He is even-tempered, strong, romantic, protective, hardworking, kind, hysterical, and humble. He puts the kids and me first in everything he does.

He is the dad for my kids that I had as a little girl. I look at my two children, Mary and Pat, and see the example he has set for them by his actions, love, and work ethic, and know that my son has the perfect example of a man, and I know that Mary will know what she deserves in a husband one day.

Mary is noticing how you always let her walk first, how you open my car door, the flowers you bring home for both of us. She notices that you always walk outside in a parking lot to keep us safe or that you sit facing the entrance of a restaurant, so you can see who is entering.

She is aware that even when you’re exhausted and ready to go to sleep, you’re the one who goes back down to the car to get her white blanket that she left in there from school dropoff. She knows that you’re the room dad for her class. She remembers the days off work you took to go on field trips.

She remembers the way you smile with your eyes when she shows you her new dress and waits for you to tell her how pretty she looks. She notices how you call her bunny. She will remember you doing her hair in the morning. She knows that you would do anything to keep her safe.

She knows. She’s watching and paying very close attention.

Pat is also watching. He sees the way that you don’t lose your temper easily and keep God at the center of our family. He notices the way that you treat me and how you protect us. He sees the example of a man who is as devoted to me as you are to both of them. He will remember the interest you took in the things he enjoys.

He is noticing that you are kind to people at restaurants and hold doors open for women. He notices that the same soft hands that fix his sister’s hair in the morning before school also are the same hands that protect him until he’s old enough to protect himself. He also sees that you are an amazing cook and will grow up knowing that it’s not just his wife’s job to provide food for his family because he saw you cooking for us.

He is aware that being a man is a delicate balance of gentleness and fierceness. He notices that you offer your seat when a lady enters the room and how you take your hat off when we pray. He hears you thank veterans for their service and has seen you buy them cups of coffee.

He sees the planning you do for our date nights and the effort you make to make me feel special. He will remember the funny voices you make when reading bedtime stories.

He is watching. He is learning how to be a man, a husband, and a father from you.

I certainly hope that the quote is true, that your son will become it, and your daughter will marry it. Nothing would make me happier to see Pat end up like you and if Mary marries a boy that is just like you.

Thank you for loving all of us, Tim. You are our greatest blessing. They are watching you … and I thank God for that! Oh, and happy birthday!

Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.