Wise sayings Nos. 1 to 50

By RAY ADLER
Ask Adler

Dad always had a lot of sayings that were shorthand lessons that quickly explained what to do. I added some that other family members use.

1. Not everything works but everything works out.
2. Hoot owls don’t raise canaries.
3. I-Will is more important than IQ.
4. You need to get a bird cage before you get a bird.
5. Sick, lame and lazy, crippled, blind and crazy.
6. Get up, get up, get up. Here it is Monday, almost Tuesday, Wednesday right around the corner, the week is half shot and we haven’t got anything done. Get up. Let’s go.
7. Your failure to plan is not my emergency.
8. I can’t help stupid.
9. Half of what I tell you is wrong. I just don’t know which half.
10. Wish in one hand and **** in the other and see which fills up first.
11. We’ve got to get serious around here.
12. Don’t throw anybody any further away than behind the kitchen stove.
13. People make it awful hard on themselves.
14. Have fun, be good, watch for traffic, see ya, love ya, bye.
15. We may not make any money on this one but we shouldn’t lose any.
16. Get on the train or off the tracks.
17. You got to get the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus and the people on the bus in the right seats.
18. You’ll work for me or you’ll work for somebody else.
19. Why are there so many more horses’ asses than there are horses?
20. Don’t do a hurry up slop job.
21. There ought to be something around here somewhere.
22. If that runt would have lived it would have been your pig.
23. You can fall in love with a puppy dog (so make sure who you court).
24. The meeting is only the place where the vote is taken on that which is already been decided.
25. I took him to marry, I didn’t take him to raise.
26. Pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.
27. We only eat what we kill.
28. That guy talks just a little bit longer than I’m willing to listen.
29. The girl didn’t have enough clothes on to wad out a shotgun.
30. That’s slicker than cat fuzz.
31. Just treat it like water off a duck.
32. If you’re right don’t ever give in; but make sure you’re right first.
33. I don’t ever want you to start a fight, but I don’t ever want you to walk away from one.
34. We can do it easy or we can do it hard. I prefer to do it easy, but I’m prepared to do it hard.
35. That’s more information than I needed.
36. Look around, find something that needs doing and get it done. Don’t make me babysit you.
37. If you make a mess, clean it up.
38. He’s an idiot, but he’s our idiot.
39. Sounds like a personal problem.
40. Can you read, write and speak English?
41. Dad will only eat two kinds of pie, hot and cold.
42. You don’t have to have a lot of money but you do have to be clean.
43. People that think they know it all are really irritating to those of us that really do.
44. If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
45. My wife lets met do exactly what I want to do and every morning she tells me what it is I’m going to want to do.
46. I handle all the big problems in the marriage; intergalactic travel, the meaning of time, the purpose of life: my wife handles the little problems like the house, the kids, the money.
47. She can be spontaneous any time she has a week’s notice.
48. Our ship’s about to come in and it’ll all be pure gravy then.
49. You’re not tired, it‘s all in your mind.
50. You did that accidentally on purpose.

Educational material and not legal advice, written by the team at Adler attorneys. Email andrea@noblesvilleattorney.com with questions or comments.