By AMY SHANKLAND
Perfectly Imperfect
As my adoption and reunion story continues, I’ve changed some names, places, and dates.
After I shared my discoveries with my husband John, he brought up a good point.
“I am so happy for you, Honey,” he said. “Have you thought about how you’re going to make initial contact with them?”
“Yeah, I have,” I replied. “I think I’m going to write a letter to Linda first.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to make a phone call on your behalf instead? I could act as an intermediary. I’ve even thought about what I could say.” I smiled and reached out to hold his hand in gratitude.
“I really appreciate it, John,” I said. “But I can’t imagine doing it that way. To be going about your life normally and then receive a phone call like that out of the blue would really be a tremendous shock, at least for me. I’d rather see something through a letter in the mail. I think it would give them time to process everything before making a response. And who knows if their families even know about me? I want to do this carefully.”
I wanted to contact Linda first. On the following Sunday, I wrote a one-and-a-half-page letter pouring my heart out to her. I thanked her for all she had done for me before I was born, especially for the sacrifices she must have made. I tried to be as kind as possible and to let her know that I had lived a good life and was grateful that she had given me the chance to live it.
The next day, however, I realized maybe this was too much too soon. I decided to Google various ways of making initial contact. I liked the advice I read from a site called adopteesearch.info. Its cardinal rule was to do no harm to the person you want to make contact with. The site had numerous examples of brief, initial letters. I decided to go with the following:
Dear Linda,
I would like to renew our friendship that began on (I wrote the month, day, and year of my birth) back in Cincinnati, Ohio. My name was Autumn Sun then but I now go by the name of Amy. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing.
Please write or call me if you like. You can also reach me by email. The information for any of these options is below.
Expectantly waiting for your reply, Amy.
* * *
I liked the brevity of it and that it didn’t give a lot of information away if someone other than Linda were to read it. But it also would leave no doubt in her mind about who was writing to her. I proofread the letter at least three times.
I finally folded it, stuck it in an envelope, addressed and stamped it, and put it in the mailbox before I could change my mind. My hands were shaking the whole time. Now, once again, I would have to wait and see what happened.