Some of the kindest memories I have are of acts of kindness from those who I do not even know their name. I also cannot remember what they looked like, but I can remember how they made me feel.
Do you have memories like that? Memories that leave you feeling a fuzzy warmth for years to come because of someone’s kindness.
What is it about these simple acts of kindness that have such longevity? Many of those memories are fleeting moments. So why are they so impactful?
I believe it is because they are moments of unconditional kindness. There is no pressure of having to “return the favor” or feel indebted to anyone. Often in life, interactions with others can feel conditional.
Of course, I am not saying it is a bad thing to return a favor, but when that pressure is removed, the kindness feels so pure. Like it is heaven sent. Sometimes it is hard for me to wrap my head around how profoundly a kind stranger can touch my soul.
As a disabled person, in my experience, I often feel like I owe people something because they have gone out of their way to help me. I battle carrying immense amounts of guilt because I often feel I cannot pull my weight. It is a mental battle I have written about before.
Returning the favor is not always an equal thing for me. I am not able to physically do some of the things that others do for me. It is not just guilt, but also the pain of wanting to do the same thing in return and knowing that I cannot. It is frustrating, and heartbreaking at times.
Keeping the guilt at bay is an uphill battle, but one I am determined to keep working on. I try to use that guilt fuel for something positive. Reminding myself that we all bring different strengths to the table.
My good friend Leah, who was a fellow National Ambassador with me during my time at the Muscular Dystrophy Association, recently wrote a piece about me for her blog Heroes 4 Harmony. Leah also lives with a rare neuromuscular condition. Although she is much younger than me, I have learned many life lessons from her.
In her post, she described me as having a “voice rooted in grace and resilience.” I read that sentence repeatedly, feeling honored that someone sees me that way. Leah has a true gift of lifting others up. She is someone who comes to mind when I think of the unconditional kindness I have seen her show others.
I was blown away at how she weaved my interview with her own words. She allowed me to see myself in a different light. It rattled my soul. I love a good soul rattling, don’t you?
I believe when we experience these moments of transformative impacts on our lives, it is like a building block and helps us to transform our character in a positive direction.
Experiencing unexpected humanity can catch us off guard in a good way. Often others see in us our best qualities that can be hard for us to recognize.
To the person who unloaded my groceries when you saw me struggling …
To the person who picked me up off the floor after countless people ignored me …
To the angel in the operating room who calmed my fears …
You have rattled my soul. You may be nameless, but the effects of your unconditional kindness will last a lifetime.
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, freelance writer, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.