This past week, I had the opportunity to speak alongside my husband. It was our first speaking engagement together. He has supported me at many of my public speaking opportunities, and this time he got to join me.
CNO Financial Group invited us to speak along with their business resource group, A.B.L.E (Abilities Beyond Limited Expectations), as well as a Women and Caregivers BRG. The title they picked for our speech was “Running on Resilience: Embracing the Power of Interdependence.”
CNO financial group is the sponsor of the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon, so it was fitting that we would share about how we have teamed up to run marathons together, in a unique way.
We worked with their team for several months, planning the speech and talking through different ideas. Writing a speech with a partner is more challenging than just doing it alone. We had to mesh our separate ways of thinking. He has the mind of an engineer, and well, I do not!
It was another way to grow and learn together and really supported the idea of interdependence. Although we have been married for almost 26 years, I would say we learned a few new things about our relationship while working on this project.
If you do not know, interdependence is the dependence of two or more people or things on each other. I must admit, I had to look that up when the idea was first presented to us. I had an idea of what it meant, but it is not a word I have ever thought much about.
To an outsider, that just gets a glimpse of our relationship together, it may seem I am very dependent on my husband. That would be a correct assumption but also correct would be that he is dependent on me, too. Writing this speech together really highlighted our different strengths that we both bring to the relationship. It was therapeutic in many ways.
Part of our speech was talking about when the caregiver needs caregiving. They wanted to hear about what life as a mom is like with a disability. Obviously, I took immense pride in caring for my children. It was my absolute joy to be able to do that. However, I could not have done that without his support and caregiving he provided me, so that I could be the mom I wanted to be.
We also talked about ways that my husband can avoid caregiver burnout. Providing care to a loved one takes a toll on most people eventually. He has been in it with me for many, many years. It is important that he takes time for himself to do thing he enjoys doing. One of those things is obviously running, and he loves pushing me in the duo bike because it is a way for us to run together. Something we never dreamed we would be able to do.
I felt so proud of us in that moment. Marriage is not always easy, as many would agree. It is a lot of teamwork to make things work for both people in the relationship. When there is a disability involved, there is an added layer to finding our way together while facing many unending challenges. We certainly do not always get it right, but we are in the fight together.
Together, we have built resiliency and grown our interdependence. While we have faced many hardships because of my disability, we both agree that has made us a stronger team.
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, freelance writer, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.