Stuff that annoys me, part 3

In 2024 I brought you the elegantly titled column, Stuff That Annoys Me: Part 1. After that major success, in 2025, I followed it up with the also cleverly titled, Stuff That Annoys Me: Part 2. Although, I wish I had gone with Part Deux.

Well, now it is 2026 and I’ve been annoyed by a lot of things over the last year. So, without further ado, I present to you the next edition in the moderately offensive series … Stuff That Annoys Me: Part Trois – Revenge of the Annoyed. Or perhaps Return of the Annoyed. Or even The Annoyed Strikes Back. You know what, just insert the Star Wars title knockoff of your choice after Part Trois.

I’m going to start off with what I’ve seen on the road. Are you ever just driving along, minding your own business, when suddenly the car in the lane to your right and slightly ahead of you decides to make a turn? This seems like it should be no big deal and pretty standard. And then all of a sudden that car whips to the left (basically in your lane) just to make a sharper right-hand turn. Stop it, people. Turn radiuses of cars are pretty good in this day and age. You don’t need to send me into a light pole just so you can whip your car to the left to make a right-hand turn, or vice versa. This isn’t the Indy 500, going into turn 1 at 240 mph. Although, sometimes it feels that way on 116th Street.

I’m going to stay on the topic of traffic for one more complaint. The zipper merge. I have an irrational hatred for zipper merges. I understand if everyone does it correctly, it should run pretty smoothly. But no one does that, so let’s put an end to it. Everyone saw the same “Lane Ends” sign two miles back. So, get over, Carl! Stop waiting until the very last second for the seas to part for you. All too often it looks like a game of chicken between the person waiting to get over and the person who is hell-bent not to let them. It does make for some entertaining viewing, but I won’t participate.

Okay, enough road rage for today. Let’s move on to a topic that is near and dear to everyone’s hearts. Or technically … butts. Toilet paper.

This isn’t about whether or not the TP is pillowy or sandpapery. Everyone knows you pay for what you get, so that is what it is. This is about how you place it on the roll. Are you an over-top person or an under-roll person? Some claim to be indifferent, but I don’t believe that viewpoint actually exists. There is no middle ground. So if you are an under-roll enthusiast, just know that you are the wrongest wrong person who has ever been wrong. And now you have to live in your wrongdom with your backwards crapper wrapper.

Now moving on to social media. I could regurgitate my annoyances here for hours and hours, but in the interest of time, I’ll cut it down to two or three specific issues that I have.

Ambiguous posting, also known as “Vaguebooking.” Very annoying. If you want to spill your entire life story onto Facebook, then fine. Go for it. I will most likely scroll right past it, but it doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is when someone posts something that no one could possibly figure out and then there’s no follow-up. Some examples would include: “Well, I wasn’t expecting that,” “I am so angry right now,” “Today has sucked,” “Prayers needed,” “Wow that was hurtful,” “Getting off social media, IYKYK,” and so on and so on and so on and so on.

While it is always my goal to ignore these kinds of attention-seeking posts, I am also a very nosey human. I need to know what’s going on, but I’m not going to be the one to ask. So, do me a favor. Just say what you mean so I don’t have to go on a deep-dive stalking adventure just to ease my curiosity. Thank you in advance.

My next complaint would be when someone posts a video or meme of some sort with the caption, “This, just this.” Sometimes they might even just post “This.” I realize this sunset meme that says “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today” is the most profound thing you’ve ever seen, but I’ll be the judge of figuring out if your lazy passive-aggressive post is worth my time.

Finally, let’s talk about people that post that they want anyone who voted for (fill in the blank) or believes or doesn’t believe in (insert political issue here) to unfriend them. Don’t threaten me with a good time, Susan! I have way too many social media friends anyway. There’s almost nothing as thrilling as that sweet click of “Unfriend” when someone tells me to do so.

In conclusion, this has been the attempted humor and opinions of one. Yes, me. I am that one. And if you were offended then go ahead and unfriend me (see what I did there?).

The moral of the story is … stay tuned in 2027 for Part Quatre!

Tim Rathz can be reached at 40somethinginfishers@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook or Instagram.