A big dream of mine is to do a solo trip. Not because I do not enjoy the company of my family and friends, but I think it would be a time for peace and great reflection.
For me, as someone living with a physical disability, this would be difficult to achieve, especially depending on where I would be traveling. There are so many nuances to consider.
Last week, I had a setback after a pretty scary fall. Each time this happens, it takes me to a pretty low mental state, obliterating any physical confidence I may have had. This has been a pattern throughout my lifetime.
A lot of second guessing starts happening, and I find myself being annoyingly cautious of every little thing because, of course, I do not want to fall again.
Although I am in a great deal of pain from the injury sustained from the fall, I have pushed myself outside of my comfort zone over the last week. I did this to try and avoid a huge setback from the independence I work so hard to keep.
I had a freelance work assignment this week that required an overnight stay. My husband was going to meet up with me after he got off work, but I wanted to arrive early to get settled in and start taking notes for my review.
My first thought was “Oh well, I guess I will not be able to do that.” Then I thought to myself, “This is a great chance to have a taste of the solo stay that I have desired.” I did some research beforehand and decided it would be my best choice to pay a little extra for the valet service offered at the hotel.
I had a nervous excitement as I prepared for my solo arrival. Not knowing how you will be met when arriving with a wheelchair you need assistance with is anxiety provoking. I suppose I could have called before I left to make sure they could help me, but apparently, I like to live on the edge. Who knew?!
My anxieties quickly dissipated when I arrived and asked one the two gentleman who came out to help me if he could unload my wheelchair. Without hesitation, he said, “Of course!”
From there, one parked my car, and the other took me and my bags to the check-in area. He then waited and offered to help me up to the room and drop off my bags.
As the door clicked shut when he left me alone in the room, I will admit, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. I am fairly independent in my daily life, from the comfort of my home or familiar places I visit.
Visiting a place where I have never been and asking for the kind of help that I need can be intimidating. I knew I may need help pushing my wheelchair if the floors of the hotel hallway had carpet because my arm strength is limited. Before I could even ask, the gentleman helping me asked if I wanted him to push me. For a second, I hesitated but then quickly accepted his help. He was so kind and did not make it a big deal, seamlessly carrying on conversation.
My husband joined me after a bit for the evening. The next morning, he had to leave early. I decided to continue my mini solo opportunity and do the check-out process on my own a little later.
I was pleased to discover it was much the same as the check-in support I received. In a matter of just a few minutes, I was safely on my way home, feeling a renewed sense of confidence.
You will never know unless you try is a phrase that is often on repeat in my mind. I do not always listen to this inner voice. I find that when I do, more times than not, I am rewarded with an assurance and renewed sense of independence that my human spirit craves. It is what motivates me to get up every day and face the challenges my disability presents.
I am not sure I am ready for a big solo adventure, but I like the idea of working my way up to that someday.
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, freelance writer, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.