A parent’s reckoning with big tech

By RAJA RAMASWAMY
Guest Columnist

I am a parent of two young children in Hamilton County. Like many families here, I live with a quiet fear that has become part of daily life.

We are raising our kids in a digital world that did not exist when we were young. Screens promise connection, learning, and fun. What they often deliver instead is isolation, risk, and exploitation.

As parents, we tell ourselves that supervision and honest conversations are enough. I no longer believe honest conversations can compete with systems backed by billions of dollars and designed to capture attention.

The death of Hailey Buzbee made it clear that parenting today is nothing like parenting in the 1990s.

My children are 7 and 9. They still sit next to me on the couch. They ask for help with passwords. They show me the games they like. Even now, I can see how quickly their digital world grows beyond what I can fully see or control. What feels innocent today will not stay that way. Early access becomes early exposure long before children are able to recognize danger.

Hailey was a 17-year-old junior at Hamilton Southeastern High School in Fishers. Authorities have said she was contacted by an older adult online before her disappearance. That contact began in digital spaces designed for private and seamless interaction. These spaces allow adults and minors to connect anonymously and at scale.

Meta leads this digital landscape. Through Instagram and Facebook, it has aggressively targeted young users and teens, embedding social validation, private messaging, and constant engagement into daily life. Gaming networks operated by Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, and Epic Games extend that reach into social play. Discord normalizes private conversations beyond adult view. Google’s YouTube shapes attention and behavior at scale. Roblox invites children into immersive worlds built around interaction and spending.

These companies engineered the environments where children gather, communicate, and place trust.

Big tech did not commit a crime. But these companies built a modern digital playground where engagement often outweighs safety by design. Algorithms reward time spent. Recommendation systems suggest connections. Private messaging removes barriers. Voice chat creates familiarity. These features carry particular risk for adolescents who are still developing judgment and impulse control.

When systems make it easy for adults to form hidden relationships with minors, harm becomes predictable.

Parents are left competing with trillion-dollar companies whose profits depend on keeping children engaged and reachable. Families are told to monitor devices and set limits. No parent can compete with always-on algorithms, cross-state reach, or digital trails that disappear faster than local police can respond. Parents are expected to protect children who are still learning what trust even means.

Public health teaches that predictable risk demands prevention. Seatbelts exist because vehicles create foreseeable danger. The same principle applies to digital environments that expose children to adults at scale.

Online grooming now occurs in gaming lobbies, private messages, and voice channels. It crosses state lines and delays response. Parents carry the damage. Public systems struggle to keep up. Missing teens are often labeled as runaways in the early hours. Alert systems do not always reflect digital risk. Platforms point to reporting tools and terms of service as safeguards, even though these measures respond only after harm has already occurred.

Hailey’s family and this community are responding with purpose. Pink ribbons have appeared across Fishers. Thousands have signed a petition supporting Hailey’s Law. The proposal calls for a Pink Alert when online grooming or suspicious digital contact is suspected. It also calls for annual education in Indiana schools on online predators, grooming tactics, and digital safety.

Her death demands that we confront the systems that shaped her vulnerability. Big tech did not kill Hailey, but it helped create an environment where tragedies like this became easier.

I write this as a concerned parent and I know I am not alone. Our children deserve better.

Raja Ramaswamy is an Indianapolis-based physician and the author of “YOU Are the New Prescription.”