For many years, I have made my physical health a top priority. It started in college on a whim. Of all the electives I could choose from, I chose a weightlifting class.
It was an interesting choice because due to my Muscular Dystrophy, I cannot lift more than three pounds over my head, and even less with my legs. However, that class taught me so much about self-discipline that I have carried throughout my life.
While my physical health thrived during college, my mental health went the opposite way.
I spent years battling depression due to my physical disability and other difficult life circumstances. I did not realize that prioritizing my mental health, as I did with my physical health, was just as important.
Strengthening my faith along the way certainly played a big part in improving my emotional fitness, but there was still more work to do. I started researching ways that I could continually work on my emotional “muscles.”
My biggest roadblock on my emotional fitness journey has been coping with the progression of my disease. Once I feel I have it mastered, things physically take a downturn, and I am back at square one.
One of the things that I have discovered along the way is that you cannot shortcut emotional fitness. Often, when we are in emotional agony, we want a quick fix. It feels so awful, we need to escape it.
The problem with this “band-aid” approach is that we avoid the path to the true healing. For so long, I took the short cut and then found myself right back in the depths of emotional pain a week or so later.
For me, regularly connecting with others who have a similar progression of disease to mine keeps me from losing it. Most of the feelings I am dealing with are fear-based regarding disease progression. As you can imagine, it is frightening to not know what losses you are facing, or when they will hit you.
My husband and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary last week. We took some time and looked back at some photos from our wedding day. One caught my eye.
It was a picture of us exiting the church surrounded on both sides by our wedding guests blowing bubbles as we left. My husband was slightly in front of me with his arm in the air celebrating. I was close behind one hand holding up my dress train, and the other carrying my bouquet.
I said to him, “Do you notice anything interesting about that picture?” He said, “Yes, you are not holding onto my arm.” I knew he would notice, as anytime I am walking, either I have my cane or someone’s arm. Usually his.
It is hard in moments like those to not reflect on what I have lost as far as physical capability. It takes a lot of work to learn how to not go off the deep end each time that is front and center.
That is something that I am dedicated to working on the best I can. Talking about it and not holding it in is helpful, especially to those who are also facing the same things I am. That makes it a little less scary and not so overwhelming.
We get reminders to take care of our physical health on a regular basis, which is fantastic. It is important. Also important is to not only remind yourself, but others you care about to take care of their emotional health, too.
Check in with those in your life and do not be afraid to ask them about the hard stuff in their lives. We are all dealing with something. Learning ways to not only cope, but to heal where we can, is critical to quality of life.
Here is your reminder and me reminding myself, check on someone you care about today!
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, freelance writer, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.