If you live with a newspaper columnist, chances are you’ve heard or seen some unusual things. My husband, John, and my sons have put up with a lot of wacky stuff over the years. It’s been entertaining for them, that’s for sure.
When my boys were little, John took them to Chick-fil-A one evening while I was teaching a class. He gave them the typical five-minute warning before they had to leave. As John was attempting to get their shoes on, he was pointing out things that were happening in the parking lot to distract them. This method always worked to help our boys stop wiggling. A woman was watching him and smiled.
“I just read a column about a woman who does that exact same thing!” she said. John laughed.
“Yes, that’s my wife …” he replied. Her eyes widened.
“Oh really? So, you’re John? And these two must be Jonathon and Jacob,” she said. John nodded, then the woman said she read my column every week. He told me later that the evening felt rather surreal.
All three of them have witnessed moments when we’re together where I’ll see, hear, or mention something. My eyes will widen and I’ll exclaim, “OOOH! That’s a column!” I’ll then dash across the house to find the nearest pad of paper. John, Jonathon, and Jacob have learned that nothing is safe. (I do ask their permission first if I’m writing about one or all of them.)
This, of course, leads to pieces of paper strewn throughout the house with strange words and phrases such as:
- Pet owner/cat yoga, alluding to last week’s column
- Cereal bowls
- 4:30 Stargazing
- Exoskeletons
- Tie dye people, a column I’ve yet to write about my cool neighbors
When we’re out and about, I must rely on my phone to throw in notes whenever we come across something interesting. I probably utter the words “Hey, there’s a story there!” at least once a week.
My family also cracks up whenever my “unread” book pile begins to dwindle. If you’re a writer/columnist like me, that means you’re a big-time reader. You would think I’m having a major crisis after finishing a novel, going over to said pile, and seeing that it’s down to just one book.
“Oh, no … NOOOO … I’m down to only one book!” I exclaim. “I need to go to the Little Free Library, stat!” For me, it’s truly a literary emergency.
Things have been even worse lately, as The Reporter has encouraged us to submit photos as often as possible for columns. Now in addition to my previously mentioned antics, I’ll often ask one of my family members to help me capture a good photo. You’ve seen many of them.
Yes, columnists are a wacky bunch. Hopefully, Dear Readers, it all helps us make you think, commiserate, learn or remember something, and/or smile every week.
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.