Everyone has a wellness bank. It’s the internal gauge you have that regulates your emotions and contributes to your overall mental health and happiness. There are people and things in your life that serve as deposits and withdrawals to your wellness bank.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. There are those people and things in your life that you feel like they’ve added to your bank just by being around them. They are the people who make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. They are the same people you spend hours with, and it barely feels like any time has been spent because the entire experience is truly a joy.
There are things and people that make you so happy you feel lighter. There are the people who make you forget your worries for a bit. You aren’t quite as overwhelmed after you spend time with them because your mental bank has had a deposit made, and you just feel better.
Some of the deposits in my life include my marriage, my children, my garden, my best friends, my family, reading, cooking, my dogs, and being home. I am fortunate enough to have a job that I really love, so thankfully, I spend a great deal of my time doing something that makes me happy.
Like everyone else, I have withdrawals, too. I have things and people that I don’t enjoy. These things serve as a negative in my wellness bank. Even at a job I love, it still has its withdrawals. I don’t think any professional loves responding to emails or attending meetings.
The key is to figure out what it is that makes you happy. Who do you most enjoy spending your time with? What is it that makes you feel joyful? What are the things that you spend your energy doing that make you feel most alive? Where is your happiest place? When are you most relaxed? When do you feel most depleted? Who and what robs you of your joy? Do you enjoy your job? Are you happy? Are you adding or taking away from the happiness of those around you?
These are simple questions, but they really aren’t that simple. If it was this easy to be happy, then why are there so many unhappy people? Why are so many relationships failing? Why do so many people hate their jobs? Why do so many people spend their time and energy doing things they don’t enjoy with people they don’t like?
There will always be things we have to do that we don’t enjoy. I don’t think anyone is fist-pumping the air when they pay their bills or hear the alarm going off at an early hour in the morning. Some of it is a matter of perspective. While I don’t enjoy paying bills, I’m very grateful to have the home that we have and am grateful that I am alive and don’t spend my time at a job that I hate.
The key is to figure out what it is that brings the most joy to our life and who we want to spend our time with. Identify the deposits in your wellness bank and make it a point to do more of what makes you happy.
Don’t overcommit yourself to things and people that deplete you and deposit stress in your life. Learn to unapologetically say no if it safeguards your mental health and happiness.
Be intentional about acknowledging the things that make you happy. It’s a form of gratitude, which also contributes to our overall wellness.
As much as we need to safeguard our own mind and spirit, we must realize that we have the ability to contribute or withdraw from others, too. What are you doing to deposit into the wellness banks of others? Part of the human experience is our interactions with others. Ask yourself: Am I adding to or depleting to the joy of others? Do others feel better or worse after being around me? Am I someone people feel lighter after spending time with? Do I make others feel happier?
If you realize that others think of you as a joy to be around you, it will increase your own happiness because at the core of most people is goodness. It feels good to make others happy. Figure out what makes you happy so you can help other people feel good. When you’re happy, you will be more joyful to be around.
Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.