Living in Indiana most of my life, aside from a five-year hiatus in Memphis, Tenn., I am very accustomed to the four distinct seasons. There is something to love about each one if you ask me.
However, one in particular stirs up a lot of anxiety in me. Yes, it’s true. Summertime causes me a lot of anxiety.
It’s not that I hate sunshine and warmer temperatures. Quite the opposite. I love the beauty and feeling of summer. It’s magical! The sunsets, butterflies, fireflies, blue skies, lush green trees, and beautiful summer nights.
The reason for the increase in anxiety is simple. With summertime comes a big increase in physical activity. When the boys were younger and in school, we had a routine. My body got used to the demands, and it was manageable because I knew what to expect and how things would work for the most part each day. As summer break approached, I would hear other moms excitedly talking about how they couldn’t wait for summer, and all the things they would do with their kids. It’s physical and often spontaneous. Parks, pools, trips to the zoo, they couldn’t wait to fill their calendars with all these fun things the kids were sure to enjoy.
The pit in my stomach grew. How would I keep up? I wanted my kids to experience all these things too, of course, and I wanted to experience it with them.
It wasn’t just the activities, but also more physical demands because they were at home more. More meals to be made, messes to be cleaned up, more entertaining so they wouldn’t argue constantly, or die of boredom! I felt so guilty having these feelings because that time with your children is a gift and goes by too quickly.
Summertime, of course, always came, and we always figured it out. Whether it meant I had to have help doing these things with my boys, or sometimes they would join a friend, we made sure they always got to experience all that summer has to offer. I was working three days a week, so the two days I was home with them, and the weekends, I knew would be full of physical activity. Being open and honest with my boys as they were old enough to understand, made things a little easier. I explained that it was hard for my body to adjust to the increased physical demands, but that I would do my best. That doesn’t mean things were always smooth, and it wasn’t always easy to adapt.
One way I react when my body starts to shut down is that I get irritable. I think it’s because I’m scared. It’s a scary feeling when you feel your muscles failing you, and just won’t cooperate. You never really get used to that feeling living with Muscular Dystrophy. It’s not sore muscles from overdoing it that I’m referring to. This is different, and unless you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to explain.
With some adapting, we managed well. We had fun and memorable summers. Pool time with family and friends, sleepovers, camping trips, family reunions and track meets galore. I loved all of it. Walking head on into situations that produce anxiety is just a part of life. There is almost always a way to figure things out and make them work. I’m going to soak summer up and do my best to keep up!
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.