We’re continuing our series on reducing our mental labor with a recent focus on lightening the load of housecleaning. Last week we talked about how to share this labor with others in our household.
Look at the stage of life you’re in and think about how the mental load can be shared more in the house cleaning arena. If you’re about to get married or to move in with a partner, have a meeting to discuss who will oversee implementing AND managing tasks.
Once your partner takes over a responsibility, do not think about it anymore. Let them do it their way as well. This is tough for me because I sort of have some, shall we say, control freak tendencies. But I’m learning it’s worth it to let things go.
I’ve seen an example of how beautifully this works with one couple we know. We get together once a month with a group of friends for a home cooked meal and board games, rotating the location to someplace new each time. It’s an event my husband John and I look forward to and enjoy tremendously.
Whenever we go to our friend Elaine and Dan’s house, we see the same efficient routine. Elaine always cooks a fabulous dinner, and once we all enjoy it, Dan steps in to clean up and take care of the dishes. You can tell it’s automatic for them and that they’ve done it for years.
If you’re planning on having a family or you’ve just had a baby, start writing down your child’s future chores! I love the chore chart concept because it’s essentially another checklist. You can find various chore charts online, and I’ve seen dozens on smarterparenting.com. With these charts, your kids will soon take charge of their own chores.
As I learned a little late, small children can be a big help. Four and five-year olds can make their beds, set and clear the table, empty the dishwasher, and move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. They can also fold and put clothes away, vacuum, clean up their toys, and empty small trash cans.
All of this requires that you show them how to do everything (which might take a time or two), hold on to your patience, praise them, and give up expectations of perfection.
Older children and teenagers can obviously do more. I realize that things can be tricky, however, when you factor in school activities and part time jobs. When both of my sons attended high school, they worked between 20 to 25 hours a week at nearby restaurants. My younger son Jacob was involved in jazz band and choir. Naturally we wanted to make certain they had time to complete their homework.
I’ll share how we balanced things out during this time of life in next week’s column.
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.