Nine strategies for success after high school

By DANIEL E. MODE
Veteran Voices

New graduates are busy making plans and racing into a future of change. As parents, the mission is to help them slow down and ask “What’s next?” Each of the following nine strategies are from interviews with veterans who offered suggestions for parents and children to discuss future plans.

1. Provide role models of leadership.

Army SSG Kyle Leichtman believes parents “have a responsibility to embrace their role as a teacher and leader.” He encourages “focusing on emotional and physical health.” When problems arrive, SSG Leichtman said, “Concentrate on effort and initiative over errors of judgment.”

2. Use goals and rewards as motivators.

To clarify values and goals ask, “Where do you spend your time and money?” That one question gives both of you all the information necessary to understand what really motivates your child.

Army Captain Timothy Lee’s strategy is for parents to “encourage a positive attitude in what children do and what they say.” Captain Lee advises, “Help create a plan for a future your child is excited about.”

Former Navy Seal Commander Admiral Raymond Craven’s powerful 19-minute YouTube video “Make your bed” discusses how Navy Seals train for success.

3. Talk about money.

PFC Johnson is a 19-year-old Marine saving for her future. She said, “It is important for parents to teach children about saving early, spending wisely, and prioritizing goals to make dreams come true.”

Army ILT Gary Dayman was determined to attend college and study electrical engineering. He achieved his goals with part-time jobs, internships, and an ROTC scholarship. Dayman believes that “it’s critical children understand that anything is possible if they are willing to eliminate negatives and do what is necessary.” Dayman went on to build a series of companies worth $4.7 billion with over 5,000 employees.

4. Encourage and model healthy habits.

Children mirror attitudes and behaviors they see and hear every day. This is important when parents are trying to provide a balanced lifestyle. A healthy environment is a powerful gift that can separate those who succeed and those who struggle.

Marine combat veteran SSG Michael Karman stated, “The ability to accomplish missions requires continuous mental and physical readiness.”

5. Mentors are pathways to success.

LTC Steve Vetrano is a 34-year Army combat veteran and commander of the Noblesville VFW. He suggests children talk with those who are successful and find out they made their dreams come true. Mentors can be parents, teachers, coaches, or anyone who willing to discuss their journey.

6. Make career choices that offer excitement and challenge.

Success after high school requires a clear vision of the future. As a family, create strategies and options necessary to support ambition. Explain how a “job” is about money, and a “career” is about fulfilling dreams.

Jules Goody is a 101-year-old WWII Army Veteran. His advice is, “Find out early what you love and spend your life living with joy.”

American writer Mark Twain famously said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and they day you figure out why.”

7. Develop effective communication skills.

Employers rank the ability to effectively communicate as a requirement for immediate and future success. Explain the power of listening with interest.

Veteran advocate and former U.S. Airman Lisa Williams recommends that “parents and children jointly develop visions of the future that includes discipline and the ability to confidently interact with others.” Airman Williams believes that “achieving goals and objectives takes time, and failing can be an excuse to quit or an opportunity to learn.”

8. Faith is what you believe to be true.

LTC Army Chaplin James C. Berbiglia (Ret.) teaches that “the foundation of faith comes from self-esteem.” He goes on to say, “How can children believe in themselves or a higher power if they have no confidence or understanding of what they value?” Nurturing a positive self-image requires parents to pay attention, listen, and reinforce the strength of conviction.

9. Live with honor.

By 18, children will have approximately 6,570 days to observe values, dissect morals, and discover what is important. Ask: What are my children learning about living an honorable life? Mixed messages of ethics and morals are confusing and makes it difficult for children to understand what is right or wrong.

Marine fighter pilot Colonel Bruce Rutherford served two tours in Vietnam and understood honor and sacrifice. I learned about honor by watching the way he treated his wife, himself, and others.

Don’t let those you love fall victim to: If I knew then what I know now, things would be different. If your family examines and applies some of these ideas and suggestions from our Veterans, Mission Accomplished.

Daniel E. Mode, M.S., U.S. Army. Medical Corp., is a psychologist and author.