Merry ‘those people’ Christmas

In the Rathz house, we have two distinct Christmas season philosophies. 1) When it’s time, it’s time. We are going all out. Every hall is decked, every light is lit, and every corner of the house is barfing red and green. 2) When it’s done, it’s done. Starting December 26, every light is haphazardly ripped off the house, all trees are chucked out the door, and every stocking and ceramic elf is shoved into the nearest available box, not to be seen or heard from again until next year. And if anyone as much as hums a bar of a Christmas tune after that, he or she will be living in solitary confinement until they get their mind right.

There is a reason we are so over Christmas by the end of December. That’s because, by that time, we will have been living it for almost two months.

That’s right, we’re those people.

Pretty much the second we’re done sorting the Halloween candy haul for the year, we enter the Christmas zone. We start in stages. I try to get the outside lights up as soon as possible in November before the Indiana weather turns nightmarish. We always tell ourselves we’ll keep them unplugged until after Thanksgiving so as not to seem obnoxious. We typically get over that sentiment within five or 10 minutes of putting them up. Over the course of Outside-Light-Day, we angrily untangle last year’s lights, naively believe they will work this year, get frustrated when they don’t, take six or seven trips to the store for more lights, use several choice un-Christian words, then somehow figure out how to get electricity to all the lights without blowing the city power grid. By the time the day is done, we figure we didn’t go through all that just to wait several weeks to turn them on.

So yes, we are those people, who are fully fa-la-la’d by early November, and we’ve learned to be okay with that.

You’ve got that right. The Rathzes are definitely those people when it comes to Christmas decorations. (Photo provided by Tim Rathz)

After the outside lights are up, the mantle, snow globes and villages follow suit. And of course, you realize, that this entire time, Amazon Music Christmas playlists are playing on a loop. I mean, if we’re going to get the season rolling, we might as well be dripping with glad tidings, right?

By the time the Starbucks holiday cups have been released in early November, our house has been transformed to the perfect decoration mix of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh, you didn’t think we neglected the beautiful, food-coma day that is Thanksgiving, did you? No way! However, in the Rathz house, our turkeys are gobbling next to Christmas trees. It’s just the fake trees though. We don’t buy the real tree until the weekend after Thanksgiving, when Christmas decorating is more acceptable to the general public. I mean, after all, we’re not total savages.

We make sure to get all the shopping and wrapping done as quickly and early as possible, so we can enjoy the season without anxiety. We then fill the month of December with Christmas music, Yuletide Celebration, the Sullivan Express, Winterland Light Show in Danville, a drive around the Circle, several Christmas movie nights, holiday baking, parties, and countless other seasonal events. So, we basically trade in anxiety for exhaustion, but the kids love it (and so do I).

So, when you’re driving through a neighborhood in early November and nearly steer into a mailbox because you are suddenly blinded by an unexpected patch of bright lights wrapped around a house, don’t worry. That house isn’t on fire. It’s just a family of those people, merrily enjoying a two-month-long holiday.

The moral of the story is … No matter how you celebrate (or how long), merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Tim Rathz can be reached at 40somethinginfishers@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook or Instagram.