Today’s column will be the last one in my series on reducing our mental load. I’ve been thrilled to share some of the tips I’ve discovered with you these last six months.
I still have a long way to go on this journey and of course will always be working to improve. There are still days where I feel overwhelmed. But just knowing I have all these tools at my fingertips is a huge help. Creating awareness in my own family has been good as well. I’ve slowly seen my husband and sons relying a little less on me and more on themselves to get things done.
One of my missions will be to continue to find new ways to reduce this mental labor. I won’t be perfect, and it will never be completely gone, but just understanding the term and knowing I don’t have to be a stressed-out working wife and mother is amazing. I hope you feel the same way.
I beg you, now that you’re thinking through and taking the steps to lighten your mental load, don’t ever stop. If we don’t guard our time and resources well, we can’t lead the amazing life we are meant to live. We can’t just use every suggestion in this series and think we’re all done and that our mental load won’t ever grow again. Be careful dear readers – that mental labor is sneaky and can start to increase the moment we let our guard down.
But please just don’t help yourself in this area. We must make certain to not add to the mental load of others, especially women.
Folks, there are two keys to changing our society’s behavior when it comes to the mental load. We must 1) make things better in our own lives and households; and 2) Work together to help others do the same. Stop asking wives only to help with planning vacations and social outings. Don’t ask a mother about what her child can do to help you if he or she is old enough to talk or text on the phone.
Let’s remove the stigma when someone hires help to clean their home or do other household tasks. Maybe your friend gets that monthly massage to help her relax and manage some chronic illness, which enables her to be a better wife and employee. Don’t roll your eyes when a man says that he’s got a lot on his plate. He may very well be a single working dad, or holding down a job and managing an entirely separate company.
By managing our tasks better, we can set great examples for others. We can show them that life doesn’t have to be this constant stressed out “busy-ness.” By reducing our own mental loads and being kind and watching out for the loads others carry, maybe we can all finally become our best selves and help improve our world.
Do you want to learn how to lighten your mental load in more aspects in your life? You can purchase a copy of my book, Lighten Your Mental Load, at Noble Made in downtown Noblesville.
It’s been a pleasure to be on this journey with you. May your mental load stay light, and your joy increase!
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.