April showers

I love the season of Spring and what it symbolizes. I love the season of Easter and the focus of rebirth. I love that no matter how dark and cold winter was, there is a Resurrection and an empty tomb.

I love that even though the leaves were bare over the winter, there will be a new life on them. I love seeing baby animals. I love the feeling of walking outside without a coat and the extra daylight that we get.

I love the first flat of pansies that I get and changing out my winter wreath for spring. I love the first time I see dirt under my nails after putting my hands in my flowerpots.

April can be a rainy month. For me personally, I lost my dad in the month of April, and it brings back many memories – both very sad and many happy ones. It’s a constant internal struggle and balance of happiness and sadness, but the older I get, it’s more gratitude for all that he did for me. There’s an appreciation you don’t have for your parents until you become one yourself. You just don’t realize how deeply you were loved until you experience that love for your own child, and it makes you realize how precious you were to someone.

Just like losing my dad in April and the cold months of winter, I remind myself that my dad was also born in April. Instead of focusing on him not being here and the loss, I try to focus on the life he lived and person he was. April can be rainy and gloomy at times, but we know that ultimately the rain is what will help the flowers grow, and come May, we will be grateful for the all the rain. The rainy days remind us to be so grateful for the sunshine.

April is the season of rebirth. Yes, Jesus died and Good Friday was a sad day. Yes, I lost my dad in April and it’s a painful reminder every year, but the reality is, there is a lot of hope in this season. Jesus died, but the tomb was also empty, and we are in a season of rebirth.

My dad’s birthday being the same month as the season of Easter and in the same month that he passed away is very symbolic.

You can choose to focus on the sadness and loss and stay in the sadness of Good Friday, or you can step back and see that Good Friday was a place holder for what was to come with the Resurrection on Easter Sunday. I can choose to focus on April being a sad month with my dad or I can sit with those feelings and remember that he was also born this month and there is so much joy in the resurrection of Jesus.

There is hope because I have faith and I know that I will see my dad again one day. I’m going to try to keep my thoughts this month on the season of Spring and new life instead of what has been lost. I am going to remind myself more about my dad’s birth rather than when we lost him.

I’m also going to remind myself on rainy days that the rain is necessary for the flowers to grow and it will be so worth it.

Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.