“Mom” sayings

Moms can be weird sometimes. I can say this because I am one.

My husband John and I were discussing some of the unusual sayings our mothers shared with us when we were young. We’re not sure where most of these came from, but the memories certainly make us smile.

Here are some of my mom’s strange sayings.

“You look like you were sent for and couldn’t make it.” Mom would say this to me whenever I was crushed or disappointed in life. With my droopy shoulders and woebegone expression, she shared this with me in a warm, compassionate tone accompanied by a hug. I had no idea what it all meant, but I at least knew she was trying to cheer me up.

“If you keep pouting like that, a bird’s gonna come perch on your lip.” I recently discovered this saying online as a common folklore saying. Whenever Mom said this phrase to me, I would imagine a giant, colorful rooster swooping down to sit on my lip. It did the trick and made me quickly suck in my bottom lip.

“You look like Grandma Grunt with her tooth out in front.” Mom reserved this saying for when I was in a foul mood. I have no clue who Grandma Grunt was, but I imagine she wasn’t a pretty sight.

John’s mom, whom he affectionately called “Muzzler,” had her own interesting sayings. These included:

“You do and you’ll clean it up.” Muzzler used this reply whenever John would say something in Japanese (he’s a former Marine who spent some years in Japan) or when he would say a complicated word. I’ve since borrowed it to carry on the family tradition. You’re welcome, Muzzler.

“I think you have Malpetus Pooey/Inflammation of the Rum Gum.” Muzzler always said one of these terms whenever John or one of his brothers was sick. As a writer and a word enthusiast, I must give her double points for these phrases, even if they don’t contain real words.

“A great big bee came out of the barn with a bundle of sticks under his arm!” Muzzler would say this back in the days when she smoked. She would come into John and his brothers’ room with a lit cigarette, turn off the light, and tickle all three of them. I’m not sure how a little bee can possibly carry sticks under his nonexistent arm. But I did discover this saying is based on a classic children’s tickling rhyme, “Bumblebee was in the Barn.”

I kind of envy Mom and Muzzler. Their creative expressions obviously made an impact on their children. I don’t have any interesting or clever sayings I repeat often, other than reminding my sons that whatever bad is happening in our lives is typically “not the end of the world.”

What creative sayings did – or does – your mother say? I’d love to hear them in an email sometime.

Amy Shankland is an empty-nester, writer, and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John and two dogs. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.