One week ago, I finally confessed one of my greatest phobias in life with a friend who uses them often – group texts. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest and my palms were sweaty. I honestly felt embarrassed sharing it with her. She had included me in her text for her Wednesday walking group, which I wanted to be a part of.
Let’s back up. I’m what people call “technologically challenged.” This began when I was first introduced to computers back in the ‘80s. I wanted to keep on using my clackity-clack typewriter (that wasn’t even electric) and figured I’d be fine. Haha.
I did finally embrace my good ol’ IBM PC, although I didn’t take it to college with me. It was easy to use the computer labs at Indiana University in Bloomington. I surprised myself by quickly enjoying email when it came out in the early ‘90s. In fact, that’s still the main way my best friend, Stacey, and I communicate, as she lives in Portage, Ind.
I think I was okay using a computer and email because it involved one of my favorite things – writing. But when cell phones became popular in the early 2000s, I wasn’t as thrilled. I hated the fact that someone could contact me anytime, anywhere. In fact, when my cell phone didn’t work for a few months during that time, I was secretly happy.
My sister Vicky, who is older than me, was surprised around 2008 that I didn’t text people much. Back then, texting was a slower, almost painful process. Some of you may remember flip phones and pressing a number multiple times to get the letter you wanted … ugh.
Now, of course, texting is much easier, especially with voice to text which I use constantly- much to the chagrin of my friends when they receive some wacky-looking words and phrases (thanks, autocorrect). Like most people, I text for both professional and personal reasons. In fact, getting a phone call out of the blue from someone I don’t know well is actually a little irritating these days. I know I’m not alone.
That brings me to my group text phobia. Logically, I understand that it’s an easy way to communicate to more than one person, especially for planning things. But on another level, group texts rattle me to my core.
I’m a highly sensitive person, so constant notifications make me anxious. When those “pings” start to come in, I’m ready to crawl up a wall. My friend Lise teases me about this, but it just frazzles my brain. If you search the internet, you’ll see I’m not alone – lots of folks have issues with groups texts.
Thankfully, I made the discovery of muting just these conversations, which has helped me tremendously. Now I can see the group chat in my own time, when I’m ready, during a quiet evening.
For myself, I’m going to continue being “old school” and continue with emails when I’m in charge of planning things.
My walking friend was understanding after my confession and suggested that I respond, then turn off the notification. I’m happy to implement her idea and I’ll only interact when necessary.
If you’re like me and suffer from Group Text Phobia, the internet is thankfully full of suggestions to help you. I’m much happier now, and I know that when the next group text strikes, I’ll be calm and peaceful.
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.