Ominous

There are certain words that fascinate me. Ominous is one of them. Its definition is foreboding calamity. I know the foreboding all too well.

Ominous is how I described the dark cloud I saw as I left the grocery store on Tuesday morning at about 8:00.

I was sure rain was imminent, so I ran – actually, walked quickly – to my car. The wind was blowing so strongly that shopping carts were doing a bit of square dancing around the parking lot. I was afraid they were going to do-si-do right into Chuck’s car. Some people must not realize there are cart corrals where you leave your cart after loading your groceries into your car.

I drove home, and not a drop of rain had fallen. I had expected the worst, but it never happened.

Now, here is the lesson I learned from the ominous, foreboding cloud. How many times have I jumped to the worst-case scenario when I am faced with a crisis? Perhaps it is because I have dealt with so many worst-case scenarios. And you know what? I survived every one of them. Every. One.

When I get news that rattles my heart, sometimes it literally takes me to my bed (an expression my mother used), where I want to pull the covers over my head and worry myself to sleep.

Possible bad news ignites the worry center in my brain. Worries are kindled as details are added to the scenario. But what if?

Sometimes I find the dark cloud follows me like a scary vapor. The vapor surrounds me as I walk the aisle of the grocery store, sit in traffic, and even as I sit in a pew at church. I can’t escape the fear.

I remember what it felt like when the worst happened to me or my family. Sometimes those memories can consume my thoughts. Something triggers them, and I go down a worrisome path that leads to emotional, mental, and even physical exhaustion.

Not again. I can’t deal with anything else. God, why are you letting this happen? Haven’t I been through enough? 

I read something this week that was so profound. I stopped to write it down.

“Every time you open your Bible, you are given spiritual ammunition against the enemy who is trying to overwhelm and discourage you.” Read that again. Write it down.

I then compiled a list of scriptures to remind me of what God’s Word says when I face hurt, illness, discouragement, unfairness, and yes, things I cannot control.

• I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14 (Note that we are told to wait twice.)
• So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what He has promised. For in just a very little while. Hebrews 10:35-37 (I’ve often wished I knew just how long a “while” was.)
• Now may the Lord of peace give you his peace at all times and in every situation. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
• I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Romans 15:13

So, here’s the thing: I need to focus on the scriptures that help dissipate the vapor.

I will tell you, the frustration is real when you cannot do anything about a situation or the people involved. This is especially difficult for someone who needs to be in control. I very much resemble that person.

I read something by Christian Living this week that stuck with me … Does anyone else wish Jesus would walk into your kitchen, sit down with a cup of coffee, look at you, and say, “Okay, here is what we are going to do”?

About the ominous cloud that hung over me as I left the grocery store … it never produced a drop of rain or a storm. I knew a column was being written before I even got my groceries put away. I’m so thankful I thought to take a picture. God is still writing my story … and even my columns.

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). She is the recipient of the Reporter’s Spring 2025 Ink-Stained Wretch award. Visit janethartleonard.com. You can purchase her book “When the Hart Speaks” at amazon.com/dp/B0B1C7QKF6.