By AMY SHANKLAND
Perfectly Imperfect
As my adoption and reunion story continues, I’ve changed some names, places, and dates.
I learned that my birth father, Jack, had been the chairman of his class’s Literary Festival. As a writer, I loved reading about this and his enjoyment of all the intellectuals that he met from across the country, including George McGovern.
He claimed to have found something exciting about every person he’d had the chance to get to know. Real education, according to Jack, was “getting to grab a half hour of someone else.”
Jack had been spending his summers as an intern for Earth magazine, a publication that he described as having “a sense of change and liberation.” When I finished reading the article, I sat back in wonder. Jack’s personality sounded so much like my own, and I was also passionate about the environment.
This was one of the many instances where the notion of “nature versus nurture” would enter my mind. What aspects about me had come about due to how I was raised, and what ones were a part of me because of my genes?
Like my computer search for my biological mother Linda, the Internet began to reveal all kinds of data about my birth father. The Notre Dame information led me to Jack’s graduate school information, which then led me to the University of Memphis where he was now an adjunct professor.
I discovered he owned a business, which I found an address for, and was still concerned about the environment. Jack had made some public comments online in regard to his state’s clean water activities.
I had found a correct name. I had a city and state. Time to go to Facebook. I easily found Jack, and my hands flew up to my face when I saw his profile picture. A handsome, smiling, slim older man with thick gray hair and glasses peered back at me. He was sitting in a yellow Corvette convertible beside a woman whom I guessed was his wife. She also had glasses and short, light brown hair.
I was finally looking at my birth father, whom I strongly resembled. I no longer had to dream about or imagine his appearance.
Facebook showed me that he also had two beautiful daughters, and one grandson. More half siblings! That meant there were three sisters total between Jack and Linda. I grinned thinking about how I had always wanted younger siblings.
Jack had been just as involved in life after graduation as he had been as a student at Notre Dame. I saw more pictures of him on the Internet attending and speaking at various functions in and around Memphis. It appeared to me that he was not only involved in his neighborhood activities, but in matters all around Memphis and the State of Tennessee.
I realized how much I was like him. I had been involved in my local preservation alliance, various town events, and my statewide professional association for many years. I often had to remind myself to say “no” to things before I wore myself out.
I was glad once again that I wasn’t a psycho. It was almost scary how quickly I had found and read all this information. I finally took a break and ran up to my husband’s office to share what I had learned.