From the Heart
“I hope you don’t take this personally.” Well how else am I supposed to take it?
Most people do not intend to hurt us.
With that being said, there are those who seem to have a knack for telling us what they think and not in a good way.
It’s like they should be saying, “I’m not sorry for telling you this. You need to know … blah blah blah.” Then they proceed to leave a not-so-nice plate of doo doo in our lap. They then walk away feeling like they have done their duty. Malarky.
How do we deal with it?
In the past I would mostly smile and say, “Oh it’s OK.” But it wasn’t.
I would try my best to fully explain my feelings and why I thought I was right in doing what I was doing. Then I realized they were not ever going to listen to what I had to say. They just wanted to give me their opinion.
There was never any way to justify to them that I was right in my decisions. The facts could not be seen from their perspective … only mine.
Just because someone has an opinion does not mean that it needs to be voiced. Just because someone gives me their opinion does not mean that I have to let it sink in to my already overwhelmed mind and heart.
People often mean well, but until they have walked in my shoes with my exact circumstances, they will never understand.
Some people are all too willing to give their opinion … all too willing. If you stand back and look at their life you might just see what their opinion has done for them and their relationships.
If someone resents our not taking their advice what does that say about the relationship?
Time well spent and showing up and just sitting with someone says more about a relationship than anything else. Quiet reassurance speaks volumes.
While everyone is entitled to their opinion, they are not necessarily entitled to give it. Read that again.
The value of an opinion is greater when we see how they have lived their life, how wise have been their decisions and how much time they have invested in our life.
You see, until I know how much you care about me, your opinion will not carry much weight. Oh, it took a long time to get to this place.
So now, whenever someone says to me, “Don’t take this personally,” I can say, “Oh, I won’t … and I won’t.”
Thank you Janet, I hope others heed your sage advice I know I will moving forward.