This is the time of the year that the holidays are officially here, and we are in the midst of the busy days that are a marriage of tradition and memories. This is a very easy time of year to get swept away in the commitments that the holiday season brings that are often accompanied by stress and burn out.
I don’t know about everyone else, but I know when I look at the calendar and see events stacked on top of events without a free weekend in sight, I begin to feel stressed and overwhelmed. In our family, from mid-October until the end of the year, it seems like we don’t have a free weekend.
Now, don’t get me wrong … these are wonderful events spent with the people we love the most. That said, even when you’re doing something fun with people you actually like, a busy calendar coupled with the holidays, and you throw in a cold for every member of the house, it leaves you feeling like you’re running on empty by the time the season comes to a close.
How many times have you found yourself barely able to move from your couch during the week of Christmas to New Year? You know, those days when you don’t remember the last shower you took and you’re in pajamas from two nights ago. You beat up Netflix and round out the year watching murder documentaries. In fact, the thought of even having to speak to another human being outside the four walls of your own home is a daunting thought. In my house, we hibernate during this week. In fact, we also hide because we are so tired and need a reprieve from the chaos that has been the weeks and months leading up to the end of the year.
My husband and I both have been very intentional about our time this year with the holidays. We have re-evaluated each event and discussed and agreed on the non-negotiables and priorities. We have also trimmed the fat on certain events that were causing more stress than adding anything to our holiday experience. We decided to put our time, money, and energy into the events that really add value to the season.
It is very easy to find yourself on the hamster wheel trying to keep up with all of the obligations that come with having children this time of year. If it isn’t a party, it’s an event where you pay an obscene amount of money to participate in the name of memories made for your children and tradition. The same children who would be just as happy to stay home with a Happy Meal in pajamas and watch Disney+.
I know that whatever we do this season will be intentional. It will be with thought. It will be with the end goal of peace both of our mind, but also our spirit. It will be a re-focus on the actual reason we celebrate the holidays. Starting with Thanksgiving. It will be on the people around the table and not the tablescape and decorations.
We are doing a reset in this house one event at a time and rather than keeping up with a particular tradition, we will be safeguarding our time and mental well-being. We will be making sure that these memories we make with our children are for them and not a social media post for likes and attention. If it’s not something that adds value to our life this season, it’s up for reconsideration.
I’ve had to train my brain because sometimes I go to so much trouble to plan events for our family, especially our children, that I get us into a gridlock of non-stop plans. What I need to remind myself is that my children are not concerned with individual events or the amount of money we spent on specific events and toys. They want our time. They want our attention. They want to cuddle up and watch movies or play games. They aren’t going to remember every aspect of their childhood, but they will remember if their parents were always stressed around the holidays and I refuse for that to be our holiday legacy.
I want them to remember a cozy home, holiday baking, decorating our house, hosting our loved ones, enjoying events with family, and knowing that the magic of the season is never isolated to a man in a red suit, but the miracle of the season itself.
I encourage you to be selective and intentional with your time this season. And remember that while you feel stressed and short of patience this season, so is everyone else. This is a hard time of year for many people. The holidays bring about a lot of memories, and oftentimes, people you deal with every day are struggling or grieving for someone they’ve lost or longing for a time from years prior.
Be gentle with yourself and the people you meet because you never know what someone else is going through. And don’t ever forget your kids don’t care about the majority of the things that you’re stressed and worried about. They just want your presence.
Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.