This time of year, is a time of many different mixed emotions for many. Some enjoy the holidays, and for some it is a difficult season for many reasons.
Whatever you celebrate, chances are you are already feeling a tad overwhelmed. Maybe it is buying gifts, trying to please everyone, or anxiety towards holiday get-togethers with family/friends that you have not seen in a while. Social anxiety is real. Perhaps the holidays are the most joyful time of the year for you, and you just wish the season would last longer.
For me, I enjoy a lot of things about the holiday season. I absolutely adore the ambiance that the Christmas lights bring to my home. I really enjoy decorating for Christmas. The past couple of years, I really noticed a difference in my ability to decorate on my own. Normally, my husband and I tag team the decorating. He likes to do the tree, and I do the other areas of the house. This year, I said to him, “Can we just do it all together?” I was not feeling up to tackling my normal duties on my own. Another reminder that this progressive muscle disease sneakily steals things from me. I am grateful for a husband who is willing and able to help me. Even our boys joined in on the tree decorating which was a welcome surprise.
I have always done a majority of the holiday gift buying throughout the years. I enjoy it. I like going to stores and picking things out for loved ones. There is something about being out and about during the holiday season. There is a different energy. This year, there will likely be more online shopping, and I have also had to ask my husband if he would help get some of the gifts.
Everyday life with a disability is so physically exhausting. Our bodies are working overtime at all times just to exist. The holiday season feels like that ramps up times 100. There are holiday parties, family get-togethers, and, like I mentioned above, the gift buying. It is a constant battle between wanting to do so many activities but also having to say no to pace yourself.
As my disease progresses, I must progress, too. Otherwise, life will just leave me behind. If I want to keep living well, I need to keep adapting and moving forward. Changing at a speed that I never asked for.
I need to learn to be okay with asking for help in new areas. For me, that is the hardest thing. I value my independence so much. I have felt what it is like to have it taken away throughout my life after surgeries or setbacks. It is a feeling that I despise, and quite honestly it terrifies me. I do not want to be on someone else’s time schedule; I want to do things on my own. That is what makes me feel alive. I will fight for that until every bit of me cannot. But I know I must be smart about it and ask for help as I need it.
The holiday season is certainly a time when we could all use a little extra help. It takes humble courage to ask for and accept help, but when we do, we are reminded of why community and connection are so important. We were never meant to do life all on our own, even if we want to. Small asks can sometimes lead to great relief and unexpected joys.
As my family celebrates the Christmas season, for us, it’s a reminder of what is really important: the reason for the season. Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope that you can find a sliver of joy, even on the hardest of days. I do believe there is always something to be grateful for, even if it is just the tiniest of things.
Seek it out. I believe you will find it.
Until next time …
Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.