Sandwiched
I never thought about what I wore growing up. I was fortunate to be in a typical Indiana middle-class family – well, sort of. My parents adopted me when they were 38.
Nowadays it’s not unheard of to have a baby in your late 30s (or late 40s for that matter.) But back then this was unusual. I never cared, as they still had plenty of energy and were terrific.
I always thought Mom’s clothes looked nice on her and knew her friends considered her to be a sharp dresser. So, I didn’t think much when she passed items down to me in my teens and 20s.
However, there were three big problems with this. Number one: Mom was five foot two (more like four foot eleven now) and I’m five foot eight. Number two: Mom was, as my friend Betty says, “fluffy.” Number three: She was 38 years older than me.
I was busy being an overinvolved teen and young adult and somehow didn’t pay attention to these three issues until I went to my aunt’s funeral in my mid-20s. That’s when I saw a woman wearing the exact same sequined top that I had on … and she was in her 90s. Needless to say, something clicked.
Then I realized I was lost. I just didn’t have the eye or fashion sense that my friends had, although I did take a hard look at my closet and donated Mom’s clothes to Goodwill. I still floundered for a few years, especially after my boys were born – I was the Queen of the Mom Jeans.
One day, while my kids were in elementary school and I was home recovering from some nasty illness, I discovered the show “What Not to Wear” on TLC. And, folks, let’s just say my eyes were opened.
The show’s hosts, Clinton and Stacy, became my new best friends. I watched “What Not to Wear” all day and caught it faithfully every week afterward. I realized the wisdom of always trying things on before buying them, paying attention to fit (Stacy’s words of how clothes should skim the body vs. hug it have stayed with me) and learning what colors were flattering and what colors weren’t.
By my late 30s I finally began to dress for my age. I didn’t always get things right, but I was improving. And I discovered the joys of thrift store shopping as well. It was fun to find unique pieces that looked great on me, were inexpensive, and benefited various charities.
I don’t think I can say I truly felt confident about my attire until my early 40s. Now I know by instinct when something is right and when it isn’t, especially after trying an item on with a critical eye on the mirror.
It may have taken me decades to get the hang of it, but I wouldn’t change my experience for the world. And now, I’m the one taking Mom clothes shopping. But don’t worry, I’m not going to dress her too young for her age. Stacy and Clinton are still with me in spirit and I can’t go wrong.