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It’s 1974, and you just graduated from Noblesville High School. Oh, do I have things to tell you! Some things you won’t appreciate until much later. You will often say, “If I only knew then what I know now.”
In the years to come, you will be taught lessons you never wanted to learn. Your mistakes will be your best teachers. You will sometimes think you earned a bachelor’s degree in regrets. You will be surprised that others will benefit from the lessons you learn … the hard way.
You will come to many detours in your life. Those detours will take you places you never imagined being. Some will be scary. Be brave and you will find you are right where you belong. (Even at a car dealership.)
While you are busy designing your life, it will become tangled and appear messy. Just wait until you see its new design. You will love it.
You will travel through valleys where you will see the shadow of death. Fear not, for you will see that your greatest joys will be found just beyond the shadows.
Some mornings, you may wake up and want to pull the covers over your head. Get up and move. Don’t pitch a tent in your sadness or frustrations. It’s okay to recognize your pain for what it is. It’s okay to admit that you’re not in a good place. Go for a walk. Clean out a closet. Scrub a toilet. It will get better. Trust me on this.
There will be chapters written in your life that you won’t like, but they will inspire others. Allow God to hold your pen as He writes your story. Your Faith will get stronger during your weakest moments. Hold fast to your Faith as it will become your anchor in every storm you face. Always keep your Bible close by and read it regularly. (I know you won’t read it daily.)
It’s okay to have doubts and questions. It is during those moments that God will reveal Himself and demonstrate who He is in your life.
People will disappoint you. It’s a fact of life. Over time, you will learn to trust the right people, but there will always be that one who sneaks into your life for a short time. You will look back and say, “Lesson learned.” You will find beauty in watching someone walk away. You will call it, “The beauty of the backside.”
You will make decisions and later think, “What was I thinking?” This will involve relationships, fashion, home décor, and hairstyles. You will love big hair and shoulder pads. The mauve floral sofa will be beautiful until it isn’t.
There will be times you will make excuses for the bad behavior of others. You will tell yourself things will get better. You will rationalize the conduct of others to be acceptable. You will be wrong. Girl, you deserve better.
Each bad decision, bad relationship, and bad choice is simply the process of refining and shaping you into the woman you are meant to be. The refining is hard, and it hurts. You will wish the refining would make you skinny … it won’t.
On occasion, you will say, “Life isn’t supposed to be this way.” You keep the Ten Commandments and the 52 rules of your church, thinking this will guarantee you an easy life, with things going as you planned. You will be wrong.
Life will be like trying to wrangle yourself into a sports bra. You wrangle and you sweat, eventually getting things where they should be, but you will be worn out.
While you listen to your heart, listen to what your mind is telling you, and then pay close attention to what your gut says. You will learn to trust your gut more than your heart. Your heart will wrap you up in emotions. Your mind will rationalize and justify actions. Your gut will proclaim the truth you need to embrace. Value the opinion of your gut.
You will have a wonderful circle of friends. You will dance and forever sing the songs of the ‘70s.
You will have a great mental health therapist. You will need him … many times over the years. It’s okay to have one.
You will do things with fear and trepidation. You will get used to wearing your big girl panties. Your smile will hide your fears. People will have no idea how scared you are.
Being alone and feeling unloved for fourteen years will be one of your greatest challenges. Your Prince Charles will someday be sitting catty-corner from you at the kitchen table. Together, while drinking your morning coffee, you will watch the birds at the feeders. You will learn to celebrate the smallest joys.
You will eventually find your voice, and public speaking will become your passion. I know that comes as a shock, as you have always been terrified to speak in front of people. Believe it or not, your words will matter. You will write lots of words, and people will read them.
Janet, I am the older and wiser you. I bear the scars of your bad decisions. I get to celebrate your accomplishments, which you never imagined would be possible. The refinement was painful. Here’s the thing. All this has made me more empathetic, sympathetic, and wiser.
You made me who I am today. I am the almost 70-year-old Janet. It’s been quite the wild adventure. Oh, the places I have yet to go!
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.
Brava!