Sandwiched
COVID-19 has certainly wreaked havoc on our emotions. I know I’ve often felt sadness, confusion, and fear this year. Without my worry shelf and my faith, I’d be a wreck.
However, it hasn’t made me feel angry – until last week.
To prepare to visit Mom in her facility on Thanksgiving Day, I had to take a COVID test at Ivy Tech. No problem, I was able to take it within the required 72-hour window, the process was easy, and the negative results came back quickly. (Thank you, Ivy Tech!) I had to wear not just a mask but also a face shield. Amazon to the rescue – I now have a dozen shields.
A week ago Wednesday, I finished my holiday grocery shopping and sat down to check email that morning. I then saw that an employee at Mom’s facility had COVID-19. Visitors were no longer allowed. I wiped away the tears and called Mom to tell her the bad news.
Up until that point, I’ve dealt with COVID through prayer for our world and those I love, carefully checking the news but not going overboard, helping those I can who need some extra joy, and by being logical. Most of the time, Logical Amy has been my persona. I strive to remember how fortunate my family and friends have been throughout this crisis.
However, on that day, Angry Amy took over and proceeded to throw Logical Amy right out the window.
I had to drop off some items to Mom’s facility that morning and stomped to our back door to leave. Our automatic lock decided to run out of battery juice at that precise moment. I figured, fine, we had a ton of batteries in the junk drawer, no problem … until I saw that in that “ton” of batteries we didn’t have the exact one I needed.
I rushed over to Dollar General to get the nine-volt battery and saw a crazy, atypically long line. That did not help my mood. I then ran into my friend Anne, who unwittingly asked, “Hi, Amy, how are you?”
Oh, Anne. As they say in the south, bless your heart.
I proceeded to vent … and not quietly … about my situation, not caring who heard me. Anne, being an angel, stepped outside with me later to listen some more.
After taking care of the lock, running to Mom’s, and returning home, my husband John returned from a sales appointment. He then got an earful but wisely let me vent. Later, he quietly got out his iPad and proceeded to show me videos of laughing babies while I ate my lunch. Smart man.
By the time I was done with lunch, Angry Amy was somewhat under control, although I did hear her say, “November is THE WORST I HATE THIS MONTH” later that afternoon. My dad died on November 23 and whenever something goes wrong in November, I have a tendency to utter that phrase.
I know I’m not alone in my anger at what this virus has done to so many around the world. But I don’t regret feeling the way I did and neither should you. COVID-19 has stolen much from us. All we can do is feel that anger, don’t hurt others as we process it, and keep our faith.
Oh, and keep watching those laughing baby videos.