Celebrating the pause

Pause: temporary inaction caused by uncertainty. Hello, Bell’s Palsy.

When I chose PAUSE as my Word of the Year in November, I had no idea BP would be pausing my life. When half your face is paralyzed, you cannot blink, and you drool … life pauses. I call it a medical time-out. I have lived with so much uncertainty over the past few weeks.

Doctors said my recovery would take three to six months. In just four weeks, I can blink, the nerves in my face are coming back to life, and I can smile, albeit a bit crooked. Oddly, I cannot blow out a candle without several attempts. I love the phrase “but God” and how He answers our prayers. Thank you, all, for the prayers.

But there is more to this “pause” thing.

Pause: when put into place, a pause creates an emotional boundary that prevents negative voices from entering an overthinking mind.

Holy Schmoley! How did it take me almost 70 years to realize the value of a pause? Stay with me here and allow me to explain.

That last definition of pause is my own. Last year, I often played emotional defense. The opinions of others beat me up badly. Here’s the thing – I allowed them to do so.

My feelings were so tender. Why? I have no idea. Usually, I can say, “Toughen up, Buttercup,” but that didn’t work last year.

My mind became quite the bully. I took what was said to me, and the overthinking Janet took their words through a negative filter and beat me up with them. Can anyone relate?

On Monday of last week, the nocturnal voices woke me up a bit before 5 a.m. As I began to write in my journal about my WOTY, it entered into my over-thinking mind as to why PAUSE was chosen.

I need to pause whenever I start thinking negatively about what is said to me and realize most people don’t mean to beat me up even if they disagree with me. They are just giving their opinion. I don’t have to wrap up their words and take them personally.

It is my decision to allow what they say to enter my mind with prickly negative thorns OR to pause and ask myself a few questions.

Will what they say matter a year from now?

Is the relationship I have with them worth the worry?

And, of course, the big question … am I overthinking this?

That last question is the most important.

Remember what I wrote about Grace in last week’s column? It is in the pause where Grace is found. I will give them Grace to give their opinion, and I will give myself Grace to use the pause to tell my overthinking mind, “Not today, Janet Kay!”

Pause: The short time you take to evaluate how you will respond to the words someone has spoken to you.

Have I told you my phrase for the year is “Let them”? I will explain that phrase and that last definition in a future column.

Now, the pause has silenced the negative voices I allowed to beat me up. The less-overthinking Janet is more relaxed, and I have enough grace to slather on myself and others.

With those thoughts, I will pause and bid you all a wonderful year in which the PAUSE will be celebrated.

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.