Sandwiched
While waiting to see a doctor back in January of 2007, I came across an article in a magazine talking about Highly Sensitive People – and my life instantly changed.
If you’ve never heard of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I’ll explain. According to Highly Sensitive Refuge, an HSP experiences the world differently than others. Due to a biological difference that they’re born with, highly sensitive people are more aware of subtleties and process information deeply.
Being highly sensitive is actually a normal trait found in 15 to 20 percent of the population. That sentence alone brought me immense relief. Up until that moment in the doctor’s office, I thought I was an oddity. Turns out there are millions, if not billions, of other people like me! That was a revelation.
It’s not just a human thing, either. Biologists have found the trait in over 100 species, and there are probably more.
I think being an HSP in the sandwich generation, as in life overall, is both a curse and a blessing – but usually more of the latter.
HSPs are more easily overwhelmed, which can be a real struggle when you’re dealing with an elderly parent in a hospital or nursing facility along with your own family and work issues.
Thankfully my mother is currently in a terrific assisted living facility. When she’s had some falls and been in hospitals or rehabilitation centers in the past, however, I’ve had to remind myself to get more sleep and take other steps to avoid getting burned out or ill. I remember one incident where my eye twitched constantly for three days thanks to stress!
We also feel most emotions strongly. When my mom was mistreated one time by a rehabilitation center employee six years ago, it took every ounce of strength I had not to drop everything and drive up to South Bend in a fit of rage.
Thankfully, the trait is a blessing most of the time. HSPs can easily sense other’s emotions and instinctively know how to assist or encourage them. This has helped me understand my mother better to strengthen our relationship.
For example, when I’m out and about with Mom, I’m overjoyed seeing her discover the sights in Central Indiana. Last week we explored Carmel and its Arts and Design District and she was tickled to see the art, landscaping, flowers, trails, etc. I felt like I was seeing the city through her eyes.
I also sensed when she’d had enough and wanted to go home! I dropped her off at her apartment and found out later that she told absolutely everyone she came across about her adventures in Carmel (which I helped her remember by associating the name with her favorite candy, Werther’s.)
I’ve finally realized that being an HSP is a gift overall, one that I’m grateful for. Whether you’re an HSP or just wanting to learn more about someone in your life with the trait, I highly recommend checking out Dr. Elaine Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Person website at hsperson.com or The Highly Sensitive Refuge at highlysensitiverefuge.com.