When you’re an empty nester, you’re definitely not young anymore! Most of us are in more of the “middle-aged” category. As I’ve shared before, I don’t mind being in this category one bit. I love all its advantages.
One thing I treasure about this stage in life is the long friendships. I consider them to be one of my biggest blessings.
Take my oldest friend, Kevin. He’s not my oldest friend as far as his age goes, although he’s claimed to be old ever since we met in high school. Kevin and I have been friends for almost 39 years. Initially I could barely talk to him as a shy freshman. He and our friend Cathy, both juniors, were the first and second chairs in the clarinet section in band. I was the (shocked!) third chair.
Thankfully, I discovered what a cool person he was by the time I was a sophomore. Even though we haven’t lived in the same town for decades now, he’s still a close friend. Kevin has worked in long-term care facilities since he was a teenager. His advice and guidance were so helpful when we had to move Mom into a facility, both temporarily after she fell 10 years ago and permanently in 2016.
Then there’s his cousin, Janet. Kevin told me, “You’ll love my cousin Janet” back in 1987 before I met her during a 4th of July fireworks show. Sure enough, his prediction was correct. Janet and I clicked that evening and, 36 years later, we’re still friends. She and I practically shared the same brain growing up.
And I can’t forget my “bestie,” my “BFF,” my Stacey Girl. I met Stacey when we both lived in the same dorm at Indiana University in Bloomington in the fall of 1988. I’ve mentioned her a time or two (or 20) in this column.
My best friend, Stacey, and I at her daughter’s wedding a few years ago. (Photo provided by Amy Shankland)
I owe our close friendship to, of all things, technology. She’s another person who hasn’t lived in the same town as me for most of our friendship. But thanks to emails initially, and computer chats when we were young, frazzled parents, we became close. Stacey lives in Portage and we get together at least three to four times a year. We literally email, text, video chat, or call each other every day.
That’s almost 35 years of friendship, folks.
A great thing about being an empty nester is that you have more time to nurture all your friendships – long ones, short ones, and in-between. When you’re younger, you have to focus most of your time and attention on your kiddos.
As your children become teenagers who soon get on the path to college, trade school, a job, or the military, you find more time to spend with those precious friends. For example, Janet and I celebrated 30 years of friendship by going to Virginia Beach in 2017. Stacey and I hope to celebrate our 35 years by going out to Montana next year.
While I do miss my sons, these long friendships are yet another reason to celebrate being an empty nester.