To Indiana’s legislators: Children of rape have value

Dear Editor:

Rape is one of the most devastating things that can happen to anyone. Rape that results in pregnancy leaves the victim lost and terrified.

I know this because it happened to me.

While serving my country in the U.S. Army, I was sexually assaulted by a commanding officer which resulted in a pregnancy. Devastated, confused, angry, and uncertain – I knew whatever choices I made next, my life was drastically about to change.

I was on a path of success. As a woman in the U.S. Army, I had paved a way and overcome many obstacles to be respected. I was independent, strong, and determined. Everything was going my way – I even had plans to join West Point in the future. I was living my dream, until it became my nightmare. I knew that sexual assault was real, I had heard stories and knew of other victims, but I believed it would never happen to me – promising myself I would do all that I could to never put myself in that situation.

Still, I found myself a victim. I took all the right steps. I reported the rape. During this time – like any other life-changing moment – I had no shortage of free advice from friends, family, coworkers, and superiors. In a desperate state, I contemplated all my options.

Of course, one of those was abortion.

Abortion wasn’t just an option – it was an encouragement. How would I care for this young one? What would my family care plan be? Was I willing to give up my entire career, my promising future? After all, I didn’t ask for this. Nobody would be able to judge. A baby would make my life worse.

Back when this happened, this was way before the “Me Too” movement. This system gave my abuser more power, and abortion would have given him even more power over me. I was a prisoner in a system that wished for nothing more than to sweep this all under the rug – one that I had little power in.

I learned something through this. Desperate people make desperate decisions. In my desperation, I almost made one myself – to abort this unplanned pregnancy as a product of rape.

Like many states, Indiana has choices to make soon. Legislators are left with many questions they will have to answer, whether they were the ones who asked them first or not. Predictably, arguments will come front and center for both sides, and inevitably – the conversation will turn to “What about rape?”

Every time I hear this argument, my heart goes out to the victim – both that of rape and the possible victim in the womb. I started to ask myself how terminating life would help my trauma. I realized that argument made little sense to me. I would have to wear the wound of choosing abortion, while also recovering from being violated. I know many women who chose abortion, and I have heard their private stories of the pain they have to live with, even if they don’t publicly say so.

Ultimately, I made the decision to keep my daughter – for whom we just celebrated her graduation open house. She’s beautiful inside and out – a friend, a sister, and a strong pillar in her church and community. Every day I look at her, I see myself in that moment of desperation, and I am thankful that God gave her to me and brought me hope through her.

Was it easy? Absolutely not. Far from it. Did my life change? Yes.

But I refused to abort my daughter, who chose none of this, and add additional pain and regret to an already horrible experience. Ultimately, raising my daughter is what has healed me from my experience of sexual assault. I am reminded of the love of God through the fact that something so previous can come from such an evil act.

I often recall when Abraham argued with the Lord: Will you not sweep away the righteous with the wicked? Abortion as an answer to my rape would have done just that to my daughter. I chose not to sweep away the righteous because of the act of the wicked.

Indiana legislators: children of rape have value. My daughter is proof of that.

My plea to you as you navigate these new waters is that you remember this: Desperate people make desperate decisions. Let’s not take a terrible, horrible event like rape and place another option on the table that can add even more pain and desperation in the future – one that ultimately leads to a loss of life.

Legislating and speaking on these issues are not popular, and it won’t be easy. You will be attacked; you may even be put in the court of public opinion. Do it anyway. God told Joshua to not fear and be courageous – this was God’s reminder to all of us that sometimes what’s right must overcome our fear of the world. I know many of you feel the way I do, but fear reelection or public outcries. Know this: the courage it took me to write this article came from my desire to take my darkness and choose instead to stand in the light. I welcome you to stand next to me as you enter legislative sessions.

Hoosiers, my plea to you is similar – pray and intercede on behalf of your legislators. Step up and help one of the many organizations addressing these women in the moment of desperation that they do have options, that their babies – however unwanted, however unplanned – have value. To do this, we must silence the critics who say it is too difficult for a young girl or woman to have options. It will mean supporting legislators who stand up for what is right. It will require sacrifice from all of us – from our pocketbooks, our time, to disapproval of our friends and perhaps family when we speak up for the unborn and rape victims.

I, for one, can tell you that it’s all worth it.

My daughter and I say thank you.

Tori Dawson

Noblesville