By AMY SHANKLAND
Sandwiched
Two weeks ago, I was taking clothes out of the dryer and hanging them up or folding them. I began to hum a song that had been going through my head. Suddenly, I stopped.
I realized that I was in … a good mood.
I think when you’re grieving, it’s hard to imagine ever feeling happy again. Logically, I knew that eventually I’d smile, laugh, and feel better at some point. But my heart wouldn’t listen.
It’s been almost six weeks since Mom passed away. I’m not saying that everything is all hunky dory. Last weekend, I broke down twice after seeing sweet old ladies who reminded me so much of her. Mother’s Day was a mix of joy and sorrow.
But the flood of memories is beginning to be less painful and more joyful. I love looking around my home and seeing her beautiful Tiffany lamps. (Okay, not real Tiffany, but no one will ever know!) Mom’s Bible sits prominently in my desk.
My yard is a tribute to her, filled with some of Mom’s beloved wind chimes and whimsical outdoor decorations. And, oh, the lily of the valley… my favorite flower and hers. I pick a new bouquet from my yard every other day, inhale its sweet fragrance, and smile. I love to work and look at the delicate white flowers on my desk.
One of my relatives requested that I scan some photos of Mom and send them to her, which I did last weekend. It was fun to go down memory lane and remember vacations, holidays, and other special times with Mom.
And, finally, I’m starting to heal, realizing that once and for all, Mom is free from pain and enjoying heaven with its many adventures, people she loves, and, of course, God!
So, what’s ahead for this column? I’m sure more memories of Mom will surface, but since I am no longer in the sandwich generation, it will have a new title. I’m thinking of something along the lines of my adventures as an empty nester.
And I’ll get to tell you a part of my life story that I couldn’t share when my mother was alive. I don’t usually “vague post,” but I promise, all will be revealed next week. I appreciate your patience.
In the meantime, Readers, thank you for all your love, kind thoughts, and prayers over these last six weeks. I know many of you feel like you knew my mother. I think you’ll enjoy meeting her when you get up there eventually! It won’t be hard to find my mama … just look for the wind chimes and lily of the valley.