By AMY SHANKLAND
Sandwiched
About 10 days ago, while my husband John was away working in Kentucky, I sat on the floor with one of our cats in my lap after work and had a good cry. Okay, it was more like a snot-covered, downright ugly sobbing session. And I’m so glad I let myself do it.
The world was just getting to me that day, especially the stupid “C” word – COVID. More and more people that I knew and loved were getting it, and it broke my heart. I felt especially bad for my niece, Melissa, who is a mother to seven kids. Moms should somehow have immunity to any illness until their youngest child turns 12.
There was a time where I would have felt bad for losing it like that. It used to make me feel weak. In fact, years ago some of my family and friends would say when someone cried that they were pulling “an Amy.” So I worked to suppress my tears and hardly cried at all in my late 20s and 30s.
Our society doesn’t exactly celebrate tears. But I’m no longer embarrassed or ashamed when I cry. Psychotherapists actually encourage it. I’ve realized in my middle age that tears are incredibly healing.
I’ll never forget an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond years ago where Ray spies on his wife Debra and catches her crying. When he feels bad and approaches her about it, she simply states that she likes to cry to let some of her emotions out.
I’ve discovered that a good cry makes me far from weak. In fact, it helps me feel much better overall and gives me strength!
Last week was a prime example of that. When John came home the next afternoon, I hugged and kissed him with joy … and that evening he started to have symptoms of COVID. The whole “keep your distance” thing had already been blown to heck, so I didn’t freak out about myself.
Poor John was supposed to have his booster a week ago. Instead, I drove him to get a COVID test last Friday, which not surprisingly turned out to be positive.
I’ve not fallen apart about this, but instead, have felt calm and strong. I’ve even been grateful for our situation. It’s great that I work from home and can help John heal. I’ve been able to pick up groceries curbside and our son dropped off other items we needed. And through all of this, I’ve felt absolutely fine. (Thank you, booster shot.)
I think if I hadn’t had a good, cleansing cry last week, I wouldn’t have had the internal armor I need to face this ugly virus. Instead of shrinking away and losing my faith, I’ve felt it increase tenfold. I’ve prayed hard for John and others and know God’s got this handled.
Unless you’re in work or other situations where you just shouldn’t lose it, I want to encourage anyone to have a good cry when you need to. By letting those tears fall down, you actually lift yourself up to be ready for whatever lies ahead!