Reporter Columnist
A sizable percentage of Indiana Democrats – approximately 23 percent based on a SurveyUSA poll conducted two weeks before the election – voted for Governor Eric Holcomb’s re-election.
That, I am told, earns him a lifetime membership in the club of RINOs – Republicans in Name Only. It’s a club with no defined membership criteria other than random people screaming “RINO!” at their television when a RINO appears. But those shouts and this polling data, I am also told, is enough to give him a status more rarified than being Twitter verified (which, by the way, I am).
And if Holcomb is a member, his former boss, Mitch Daniels, must be one, too. Remember him? He’s the former governor of Indiana who was known as The Blade for his obsession with fiscal prudence, but he’s obviously a RINO himself since Hoosier voters split their tickets to elect him in the same year Barack Obama got Indiana’s electoral votes.
It’s Politics 101. When a Republican supports a Democrat, the Democrat has crossover appeal. But when a Democrat votes for a Republican, the Republican is a Democrat.
If this makes no sense to you, please trust me when I say it makes all the sense in the world … on social media.
Let me explain. You see, monolithic partisanship is the game we play nowadays. Republicans vote for Republicans, Democrats vote for Democrats, and Libertarians, I guess, flip a coin when they have no nominee running for an office.
We are not put on this earth to foster relationships and build coalitions to make positive change in our communities, simpleton. We are here to get high on annoying friends, offending neighbors and turning as many people away from our ideology as possible. The smaller the tent, the larger it looks with fewer people. It’s an old event logistics trick. Give it a try.
Therefore, Republicans were rightfully aghast at the survey data exposing Holcomb’s expected strong showing among Democrats. And even more ghastly, another poll released by the governor’s own campaign showed 67 percent of self-described liberals – better-described by real Americans as socialists – approved of Holcomb’s job performance.
Makes you sick, doesn’t it?
Those bad, very bad people (are Democrats even considered people?) who watch MSNBC and worship icons of Rachel Maddow in their living rooms think he’s a-OK. At least, that’s what one must assume they do since Republicans and Democrats aren’t allowed to talk to one another. Don’t believe me? It’s right there in the Geneva Conventions. I know it’s true because I saw it in a meme. Getting caught comes with a three-week sentence of binging The View. Look it up!
Where were we? Yes, Republicans should never want Democrats to vote for them. Ever. Under any circumstances. Except for Reagan Democrats. Those Democrats were patriots because they helped Reagan win 49 out of the 50 states in a red rout that may never be replicated.
And Trump Democrats. They are cool too. Without those blue-collar, Rust Belt Midwesterners who clocked out of the factory and got to the polls in time to punch their ballot for Trump in 2016, he wouldn’t have won Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.
Four years of Hillary Clinton would have been, to borrow the words of David Foster Wallace in his laudable essay about lobsters, “as you can imagine, unimaginable.” Thank you, patriots, for protecting us all.
But all other Democrats are bad and Republicans not named Reagan or Trump who accept the votes of Democrats are even worse. Like why would these “people” vote for Holcomb if he were a true Republican?
It can’t be that they saw in him a reasonable individual who is moderate in his rhetoric, without even a hint of hostility in his tone, and personable in approach. It can’t be. Conservative Republicans are supposed to grimace at cameras when explaining how policies will grow the economy and add good paying jobs. Grr!
So these “people” must have voted for him because his endorsements from Indiana Right to Life, the Indiana Chamber of Commerce, the National Rifle Association and the National Federation of Independent Business were enough to convince them that Holcomb also gets real-time push alerts to make sure he never misses an AOC tweet.
Now that I’ve had the time to do as Stephen Colbert does when he sees Barack Obama and drink it all in, this makes more sense than I realized. I just hope no Democrat reads this. That would really make me sick.
Pete Seat is a former White House spokesman for President George W. Bush and campaign spokesman for former Director of National Intelligence and U.S. Senator Dan Coats. Currently he is a vice president with Bose Public Affairs Group in Indianapolis. He is also an Atlantic Council Millennium Fellow, Council on Foreign Relations Term Member and author of The War on Millennials.