Sandwiched
When I introduced you to my mother’s caregiving team a few months ago, I’m embarrassed to admit that I neglected to mention someone – my husband John. While he’s never said anything to me, I still feel terrible that he wasn’t included.
Perhaps it slipped my mind because John also serves as a long-distance caregiver for his father Ron. Ron lives in Manteno, Ill., just an hour south of Chicago. In fact, John was with him for a few days last week when his dad was admitted to the hospital. Thankfully, all is turning out fine, although there may be a future column about a certain father-in-law not being the best of patients!
You know how people say your love grows for your spouse once you see them become a parent? I think the same goes for when you witness how they care for their in-laws.
I’ve shared in a past column that we moved Mom down to Noblesville from the South Bend area a little over two years ago in a bit of a hurry. Okay, it was more like a big fat hurry – less than 10 days. My siblings and I did our best but we forgot little things along the way. Like, a shower curtain, pillowcases, hand soap, Mom’s snow boots, and probably 10 other items.
After a 13-hour day of driving back and forth to Northern Indiana and then moving Mom into her assisted living facility, discovering these missing items made my heart sink. But John volunteered to run to Meijer to buy everything Mom needed, except the snow boots, which my sister-in-law would pick up from Mishawaka on the following weekend.
Once he returned from the store, he put up the shower curtain, stuck various hooks on the walls, and performed other tasks. We were both wiped out when we left Mom’s facility at around 10:30 that night, but I was grateful for his additional help at the last minute.
I had to return to work the next week, but Mom still had some miscellaneous needs. Fortunately, John’s work slows down in the winter, so he once again came to the rescue. He hooked up Mom’s little TV so she could have cable in her bedroom, bought and assembled a stand for it, and served as a general handyman that week for anything else that popped up. John also picked her up so they could both meet me for lunch that Wednesday – at Ginger’s, of course.
He even purchased one of those “car canes” that fit into the doorway so Mom could easily get in and out of his vehicle.
John continues to be my “back up” for various caregiving tasks for Mom, and I can’t express my appreciation enough.
I never thought I could love my husband more, but in late 2016, I discovered that it truly was possible. Thank you, John, for all you do for Mom. And thank you to all spouses who do so much for their in-laws. You are appreciated more than you know.