The possibility of peace

I was holding a lit candle ready to pass it on to an undergraduate during a university graduation ceremony as we Seniors prepared to get our degrees. As I held my candle with a multitude of other graduates holding theirs on the campus grounds, we all sang “Let There Be Peace on Earth.”

Perhaps you are familiar with the updated lyrics:

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me / Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be / With God our creator, children all are we / Let us walk with each other in perfect harmony …

I imagine that now most of us are still processing thoughts and emotions after the results of the mid-term elections. We may be feeling a mixture of grief and joy. We may also be challenged to maintain our civility in conversations with those who voted for candidates running against ours. With Thanksgiving just weeks away, we may soon find ourselves surrounded by family at the Thanksgiving table, and we might be tempted to present our point of view about the mid-term election while sharing the feast.

Alexandra Hudson, author of The Soul of Civility and founder of the national civility organization Civic Renaissance, was being interviewed on a national broadcast last Thanksgiving Day giving suggestions on how to maintain civility with family members on Thanksgiving. She emphasized that it was important to avoid discussing politics at Thanksgiving to foster a harmonious experience for all present. To offer your opinions on the election or any hot-button issue at another time is wise counsel.

Many families encounter challenges that can lead to estrangement.

According to Dr. Arthur Brooks, professor at Vanderbilt University, “38% of American adults are estranged from at least one close family member.” An unfortunately high number! Our goal must be to preserve family ties whenever possible.

Years ago, at the time of my father’s passing, a faculty colleague of mine confided to me that the last time he saw his father alive, they had had an argument. There was no time left for a reconciliation. Sometimes it is best to just agree to disagree.

Dr. Brooks adds that not all family rifts come from disagreements, however. They may come from having different understandings of the relationship.

If a family member is suffering from an addiction or alcoholism, hopefully that one will seek help. A support group like AlAnon for family and friends of alcoholics can help one navigate the holidays (and life) when living in these circumstances. If the loved one refuses to get help, we can still keep our own serenity – at least most of the time – for that is under our control. We do not have to react angrily to what someone else says or does. But we also may need to emotionally and physically detach from that family member whom we still love. Nevertheless, abuse in any form is unacceptable! We must take care of our own emotional, spiritual, and physical well- being and that of children in our care.

When do you have peace in your heart? How can that peace be nurtured? My answers to these questions come from my faith.

I read once, and believe it’s true, that peace in our hearts can foster peaceful relationships. We can still be passionate about our beliefs, but we can also have peace in our hearts changing the dynamics of a situation by being civil.

“Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

May we all have a happy, harmonious Thanksgiving 2026!

Nancy Kelly Smith is a retired English professor and published author. She is also an Ambassador for the national civility organization Civic Renaissance. Learn more at civic-renaissance.com.