You can buy yourself flowers

I have a son and a daughter. I like having the perspective of being a boy mom and a girl mom because I find myself being able to look at things as a woman and relating to my daughter, but also as the mom of a little boy whom I cherish. I find myself frequently thinking about what my children’s lives will look like as they grow up and begin their own lives.

As a parent, of course, you have hopes and dreams for your children. You have things that you want for them in life and expectations you have for the way they will treat other people and how they will allow themselves to be treated. This is especially true when I think about my children growing up and whom they choose to spend their life with.

I was very fortunate to grow up in a home where I saw a healthy and loving relationship between my folks and saw how my dad treated my mom. I believe that witnessing their relationship and seeing the way my dad treated my mom from the time I was a little girl helped develop my self-esteem and the baseline I was looking for in my relationship with my husband. I knew how I should be treated because of the way my dad treated my mom, and also by the way he treated my sister and me.

My parents always put an emphasis on love and the notion of soulmates. It wasn’t a hypothetical in our house, but a real thing. They lived this by example. As much as they encouraged fairy tales and true love, they also told both of us that there is nothing more important for a girl in this world to have than her education. You must always be able to support yourself.

Photo provided by Megan Rathz

I could not be more grateful that I married a man who not only is devoted to me but is the epitome of the mate I would hope for my little girl one day. Mary is a confident little girl who knows her worth. I believe this is largely in part because she has a dad who builds her self-esteem and teaches her how she should be treated by the way he interacts with me.

I was 20 years old when I lost my dad, and my sister was 13. Many girls losing a dad at young and impressionable ages would end up with the wrong guy, but my dad left such an impression on both of us that we both, fortunately, married men I believe he handpicked for us from Heaven.

One of the sweetest things my husband does that I have written about before is he gets me flowers. He knows this is one of my great joys and he always makes a point to surprise me with flowers. A simple gesture that he will never realize how special it truly is for me. I remember being a little girl and seeing my dad bring my mom home flowers and I know that Mary is taking notice every single time her dad comes home with flowers for me.

My husband has been known to also make sure and get Mary her own flowers. Whether he picks her out her own bouquet or makes one of his own with trimmings from my flowers, Mary is no stranger to the most special man in her world bestowing flowers to her. It’s a simple gesture, but one that has such a profound impact on a little girl.

As much as I love receiving flowers, I also make a point to show Mary that you don’t need to only rely on a man to solely buy you flowers. I will often pick up a beautiful bouquet for myself with her. While I absolutely want her to see her dad giving me flowers, I want her to always remember that she is enough on her own, and while there is nothing sweeter in this life than to find someone to love, you’ve got to love yourself first.

Sweet girl, marry the man who buys you flowers, but never forget for one moment that you’re capable of buying them yourself. Choose someone who will treat you just like your Daddy has always treated you and the way he treats your mom.

Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.