You are too sensitive

Growing up I was often told, “You are too sensitive!” “Don’t take everything so personally.”

I remember being very frustrated by this. Not only because the person saying it seemed so abrasive, but because no matter how hard I tried, I just could not change that about myself.

Letting things roll off my back is not something that I can easily do. Things that are said to me stick with me. Good and bad. Things I see stick with me, again both good and bad things. So much so, I go out of my way to avoid seeing some things that I know will upset me.

As with many things in my life – or qualities about myself that I once viewed as negative – I am trying to see the positive side of being a highly sensitive person. It really is not all bad. I feel that it helps me to see others, and be there for others in a way I wouldn’t be able to tune into if I wasn’t so sensitive.

I sometimes think I can feel other people’s pain. Occasionally, when I find myself reading about a hardship in someone’s life, I will gasp out loud and say, “oh my goodness!” My husband will look at me and ask what is wrong. At times, when I tell him, he just gives me a blank stare and I can tell he is not feeling it on the level I am. We have had many conversations about this, trying to understand each other’s point of view.

He is more of a let-it-roll-off-your-back kind of guy. I admire that and envy the ease at which he is able to do that. Believe me, there are a lot of things that I wish weren’t sticking with me. It can be a really heavy load. I know I am not alone, as many people I know are also highly sensitive people.

As a disabled person who is also highly sensitive, this has been hard. Throughout my lifetime, I have been the target of many mean and hurtful comments regarding my appearance or the way I walk, that would make anyone feel low, highly sensitive or not. When you are attacked for something that you have no power to change, even if you wanted to, a whole new level of emotional pain is unlocked. I feel like I have a separate part of my brain that houses all of these instances, and I wish it was not that way. Whenever I leave my house, I wonder, “Will today be a day when I add to that collection?”

On the flip side of that, fortunately, my brain also houses the many beautiful moments when strangers have gone out of their way to say something kind or help me when they see me struggling.

Just last week, I was leaving a grocery store and a woman almost hit me as I was going through the crosswalk with my cart to my car. She parked and ran over to me, apologizing profusely. She offered to unload all of my groceries into my car and take my cart. That is one of life’s best gifts to me after a trip through a store, my legs weary. Turns out, she was just a beautiful person. I won’t forget that encounter anytime soon.

Interactions like this are a good reminder to me of how important it is to focus on lifting others up when I can. I think we could all use some uplifting these days, highly sensitive or not.

Until next time …

Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.