What the duck?

I have always loved the look of a Jeep. They are fun vehicles that I picture myself driving around in a beach town.

I know Jeep drivers have an understanding that they must wave to each other, but over the last few weeks I began to notice a strange new phenomenon. It seems there are many Jeeps that have ducks on their dashboards. And after doing a little research (very little … like one quick Google search for 10 seconds), I found that this is a thing. I’m sure it’s been around a while, but I just now noticed because I’m not in the Jeep fraternity.

It’s called “Duck, Duck, Jeep” or “Jeep Ducking.”

Photo provided

Jeep owners spot other Jeeps and place a duck on their windshield. That owner, in turn, puts it on his or her dash. Why? Because nothing says I’ve made it to adulthood like rubber duckies all over my car for the world to see. I liken it to getting “likes” on Facebook.

So, then I started wondering, does every Jeep owner have ducks on their dash? I needed an answer because I would love to be a Jeep owner someday, but without looking like a four-year-old. I need to know if it’s kosher to buy a Jeep, but not display ducks. But how would I find out? Do I administer a survey? Do I hire a private investigator? It was time for me to pull out my lab coat and start doing some science!

I decided to go with the most scientific method I could think of: drive around and look. Brilliant! So, over the course of seven days, I took note of every Jeep I saw and recorded whether or not there were visible ducks. I only recorded Jeeps that look like the typical depiction of a Jeep, not just the Jeep brand. So, no SUVs or weird truck-Jeep hybrid looking vehicles. Just the all-American “Jeep.” And if I couldn’t tell for certain if there were any ducks, that one got skipped.

The first thing that surprised me was how many Jeeps I found just by driving to work and around town. They are all over the place! Seriously. The next time you’re out, pay attention. You won’t believe how many you see. They’re possibly secretly trying to take over the world, but that’s a different column for another day.

Over the seven-day period, I spotted 112 Jeeps. 62 were ducked. 50 were un-ducked. This was an average of 16 sightings per day, with 8.86 of them being ducked and 7.14 un-ducked. Whew! This was too much science for me. Time to quit being a scientist now. I’m a bit of a quack anyway.

So, this tells me, while more than 55 percent of the Jeep population are ducked, there are still almost 45 percent that remain completely duckless. That gives me hope for my Jeep future.

Photo provided

Now I’ve never seen a ducking in person, so a question remains: does the ducker duck and run, or does the ducker duck and cover, so as not to be seen? I may never know. The one time I asked someone why I never get ducked in my Mazda minivan, they told me I could always go duck myself. At least I think that’s what they said, it was pretty noisy in that parking lot.

So, while I might never be a Duck, Duck, Jeep kinda guy, I do still hope on a wing and prayer that I can pay that bill and be a Jeep owner one day. I’m just going to have to get motivated and waddle myself into the dealership.

The moral of the story is … If it looks like a Jeep and quacks like a Jeep, then we’re probably all ducked.

Tim Rathz can be reached at 40somethinginfishers@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook or Instagram.