From the Heart
“As long as nobody dies during a car deal, everything will be okay. Any issues can be worked out.” Wisdom given to me by my friend, Jay Snider, when I began my career in the car business.
Thirteen years ago, when I walked into Don Hinds Ford, I was scared. I mean SCARED.
I had never worked with men. My knowledge of cars and trucks was limited to putting gas in them and taking them to get the oil changed.
My experience of buying cars was limited and let’s just say, not pleasant.
Jay was one of the first salesmen to whom I was introduced. I could see in his eyes that he was not betting on my success. For the first few weeks I avoided him. He just seemed a bit gruff. I knew he was a good salesman and was very knowledgeable. He definitely intimidated me.
Fast forward a couple of months. Jay stopped by my office (a 5×6 foot “room”). He sat down and I remember thinking, “Oh my, I’ve done something really stupid.” He smiled. He then said, “Okay Church Lady, you have proven yourself and I’m going to teach you the business.”
Jay became my mentor. He taught me to listen to what the truck guys needed. Towing? Payload? 3.55 gear ratio or 3.73? He never made my questions seem dumb or annoying.
If you had lined up a group of people you would never have picked us as ever becoming friends.
We were as different as night and day. I was raised conservative and in church every Sunday (thus the nickname, Church Lady). Jay was raised liberal and had never been to church. He was comfortable on a bar stool slinging a few beers. I was comfortable on a piano bench singing a few hymns.
But friends we were. We would begin our work days reading the newspaper and drinking coffee at his desk.
His use of the “F” word was as fluent as my use of scripture. We shared so many laughs.
One day I took off running (in boots) after a car I was supposed to be selling. I didn’t know that he had told another salesperson to drive off in it, as if he was selling it. The salesperson drove slowly through the lot, with me chasing it. When he stopped the car, I heard a large group of salesmen laughing and saw them standing outside the showroom. I had been inaugurated.
From that day forward I was accepted. I knew they liked me, they really liked me.
A few years ago Jay left the dealership when he was diagnosed with cancer in his sinuses. We kept in touch. Every year he called to sing happy birthday to me. Every year on Dec. 22 I would call and sing happy birthday to him.
This past Sept. 3 I did not get a call. I called him. For a few weeks we played phone tag. We never got to talk, one more time.
This week I got a text from Jay’s wife, Karla. Jay had been diagnosed with lymphoma. After his chemo started, pneumonia set in. Jay’s body could not fight it. Sadly, my dear friend, Jay, passed away.
Jay was one of the kindest and most caring men that I have ever known. I was blessed to have him as my friend and mentor.
Jay Snider always said everything will be ok as long as nobody dies. But this week my friend died. It won’t be ok.