Uncle John

Grandpa Howard told me the story of “Uncle John.”

Grandpa had accepted the pastorate of the country church located near the home of Uncle John. Grandpa learned that Uncle John was “against preachers” in general. Being forewarned is to be forearmed, so Grandpa decided the sooner they met the better. He sent word that he would make a short visit Sunday morning before church services.

Uncle John met Grandpa at the yard gate, and as he clasped Grandpa’s hand presented a $5 bill saying, “This is what you came for, no need to deny it.” Grandpa said that since he was not invited into the house he did not tarry long. Grandpa told Uncle John that he should come to church, for after hearing Grandpa speak Uncle John might want his money back.

Uncle John did come to church occasionally during the next few months, to Grandpa’s surprise. Grandpa greeted him cordially but never asked or expected favors from him.

Grandpa believed that every person has some good qualities, so he tried to discern Uncle John’s redeeming features. Uncle John had served in the Civil War and was commended for his courage when on a certain occasion he helped retrieve the flag after it had been shot down. Having learned that Uncle John was a dependable neighbor, Grandpa began to realize that his first impression had been considerably modified.

Uncle John invited Grandpa to visit on a Saturday evening, traveling the interurban line and getting off at car stop 123 about ½ mile from Uncle John’s home. It was between 9 and 10 p.m. when Grandpa arrived.

Uncle John answered Grandpa’s knock at the door and said, “I was asleep on the davenport and dreamed the devil came, and, sure enough he is here.”

The next morning as Grandpa was directed to a washbasin in the enclosed porch, the generous host reached out to a nail tie and got a half-pint bottle of whiskey and said, “Have a nip. An eye-opener will be good for you.” Although Grandpa had slept less than usual that night, he was wide awake and for obvious reasons declined the offer. Uncle John’s persistence made it necessary for Grandpa to emphasize that he never had use for any such eye-opener.

Because of the sharp difference in opinions, Grandpa imagined his first visit would be his last. He guessed wrong. By the time of the revival meetings in December, his ratings with Uncle John had improved somewhat so that his second overnight stay in his home was convivial. When they were eating breakfast, a neighbor boy, apparently about 10 years of age, came for help. A new calf had been born but it died during the night. The boy’s father went to Tennessee and did not expect to return for several days.

When Uncle John informed Grandpa that the family was in poor circumstances and could ill afford the loss, Grandpa suggested that the calf should be skinned in order to save the hide.

Uncle John then bantered with Grandpa with the question, “Do you want the job?” Since there were no forenoon services held at the church, Grandpa replied, “Yes, if you will furnish some old clothes for me to wear.” A suitable outfit was provided and after sharpening two butcher knives, they went to perform the neighborly act.

Uncle John agreed to bury the animal and Grandpa would remove the hide. He looked on with satisfaction of the proceedings and when Grandpa’s task was finished jokingly remarked, “You know what I think? You’ve spoiled a good butcher to make a mighty poor preacher.”

The incident was in no sense spectacular; nevertheless, it was important to Grandpa for that day in a big old barn to find not only a dead calf but also a true friend he cherished in his memory.