Today I choose joy

One of my writing challenges is telling a story in as few words as possible.

And so it was that when my husband read last week’s column about embracing both sorrow and hope at the same time, he asked me, “Janet, are you happy?”

Chuck had fixed himself a hot cup of Vanilla Crème Brulee coffee and sat down at our kitchen table where I was writing. When I started with, “Well,” he knew he was in for either a sermon or a dissertation of some kind. I think he got both.

During a church testimony service in my early 40s, I remember saying, “Nothing will steal my joy.” I had no idea the emotional tsunami I was about to endure.

During my struggle with losing what had been my normal way of living and thinking, I heard that statement echoing in my head. “NOTHING will steal my joy.”

Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary … joy is the emotion evoked by well-being or the prospect of possessing what one desires. Happiness is defined as the state of well-being or contentment. Another definition of happiness is … a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Per the Janet Hart Leonard Dictionary, joy is a decision to enjoy life as much as possible, even during times of great hurt, sorrow, or fear. Happiness is defined as a situation or circumstance where there is no worry, grief, or sickness.

In a shortened definition, my happiness depends on everything being right in my world. Joy is a way of life.

You see, I live my life in such a way that when I am blindsided by news that I never wanted to hear, I stop and remind myself, “But God.”

Photo provided by Janet Hart Leonard

I have faced some challenging circumstances and situations. During my early 40s, I seemed to have signed up for the Crisis of the Month Club. I was decorating homes as my profession. I had to arrive with a smile at the home of my customers and be able to chit-chat as if everything in my life was sunshine and roses instead of thunderstorms and weeds.

Many an evening, as I left the decorating party, I took hold of the steering wheel and allowed the tears to flow. The song by Carrie Underwood, “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” had yet to be written. If it had, I would have played it on repeat. Life looked nothing like I thought it would. The things I was going through weren’t supposed to happen to good church-going ladies like me. But they were happening.

On Sunday mornings, I always arrived early to church and would stop in the restroom to fluff my hair and ensure my smile looked genuine. I would head down the hall to teach my Young Married Sunday School class and tell them about the goodness of God. They had no idea I was wrestling with just how good that goodness was in my life.

As I wrestled with the goodness of God, I found myself digging into scriptures like never before. I needed answers to questions I never had before my “normal” was destroyed.

I became fascinated with Job. I studied the never-ending trials of Joseph. I became enamored with Naomi. In wrapping my thoughts around their stories, I saw God in a new light. It wasn’t that my goodness qualified me for never having to endure hurt and sorrow, BUT that God would walk alongside me in my hour … okay, HOURS of great hurt and tribulation.

I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world! John 16:33 ERV

There it is … the sweet peace of knowing who God is in my life. I am not promised that being good will mean I won’t suffer hard times, but God will get me through them.  I love the word BUT! But God. The definition of “but” is except for the fact. Think about that … except for the fact. When all the facts are in, and life hurts, and it is anything but fair, God is still there in the midst. He may not calm my storm, but He will calm me.

How do I find my way to being happy? I consider life as a journey of seeking and finding joy. I breathe moments of gratitude prayers. God, thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for the sweet caring of my husband. Thank you for my friends who make life easier. Thank you for the scripture I read today.

It is in my gratitude that I find joy. It takes me away from wallowing in my sadness. It gives me a new focus.

This does not lessen the hurt or sorrow but changes how I live my life. You see, as scripture tells me …

The night may be filled with tears, but in the morning we can sing for joy! Psalm 30:5 ERV

My circumstances and situations may bring me moments of sorrow and great anxiety, but God, in His mercies, will bring redemption. There will be good that comes after a night (or many nights) of weeping, for I have seen the goodness of God.

The scripture speaks to me when life gets brutal … as it sometimes will.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalms 27:13-14

So, Chuck, back to your question. The short answer is that while I may be challenged to be happy in the midst of my circumstances … there will always be joy. ALWAYS Joy!

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.