What if you never see a glimpse of hope or the possibility that your prayers will be answered? Will you still trust God? Do you lean on your own understanding of your circumstances, or do you wait confidently for God to give you the strength to endure whatever happens?
It’s a restless night, and my brain’s tabs shuffle loudly. Tapping my phone, I see it’s 2:38 a.m.
A few hours earlier, I had crawled into bed with a blanket of anxiety. Chaos had arrived on my doorstep. Chaos always has a way of bringing both hurt and uncertainty with it.
I pray for God to intervene and to do so quickly.
I wrestle with the words I keep hearing in my weary, let’s-think-this-over brain.
I fear not lions, tigers, or bears but doubts, hurts, and what-ifs.
I’m tucked under the covers as I open the Holy Bible App on my phone. I am taken to the book of Habakkuk. Who reads Habakkuk? It’s an obscure, three-chapter book in the Old Testament between Nahum and Zephaniah.
Reading the third chapter, my heart starts racing, but then I feel a sense of unexplainable peace.
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produces no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:17-18 NIV
Photo provided by Janet Hart Leonard
My mind reads it, but my heart interprets it.
There isn’t a bud of a promise that my prayers will be answered. Not a smidgen of a crop is evident. Not a sheep or a cow sighting on the horizon.
YET! I love the word YET! I will be joyful.
I realize I cannot control the circumstances or the people in my life. It is my choice if I allow them to steal my joy.
I am to bring my prayers to God, leave them with Him, and have faith that He will hold and guide me as I walk through the valley of uncertainty.
My history with God allows me to walk and wait with a peace that passes all understanding.
The voice in my mind that casts doubt does not have to be louder than the voice of the words I read in scripture, words that give hope. I control the volume of the voice I choose to hear.
Habakkuk reminds me of my relationship with God and that He is sovereign over me and my circumstances. I can shush the tabs of chaos and go back to sleep.
Ask. Hope. Trust. Wait. Rest.
It’s 3:27 a.m. I close the Holy Bible App. The tabs in my brain have quieted. I have a few more hours to sleep, which my faith will allow. I am wrapped in a blanket of God’s ever-so-present love.
I begin to pray …
“Thank you, God, for giving me the scripture that allows me to rest while in the valley of uncertainty. I will sleep with the peace of knowing you are working in ways I cannot see. I hear your voice of hope over that of the enemy who seeks to discourage me. Give me the strength to be okay if the answers are not what I want. Thank you for the joy I find in the scriptures that will find its way into my hurting heart. Help me to keep my heart kind and loving. Goodnight, God. Amen.”
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.